wolven7 | Unrequited Lust

Earlier I asked a question about the nature of urges not satisfied, and I asked you your thoughts on the never-sated burning need for someone else.

Everyone talks about the romantic nature of unrequited love, the pining and the longing, of a connection recognised, but never realised, but, sometimes, I think that's bullshit. I think that the reality of the situation is something a bit baser, a bit more true, maybe a bit darker, if you want to see it that way.

We want.

I have wanted things and people, all my life, and I've only gotten the smallest fraction of those things or people which or whom I've wanted. This is true for most of you, as well. That I want is not in question, nor that I'll lose a majority of my wantings, and that the very wanting of those things will fade. My point is that, somewhere in the people I've wanted, whom I've desired, some of those wantings have retained potency.

Now, when I say Lust, what I mean is the physical urge, the scent and smell and taste pull to a person, without the emotional connection, or intimate knowledge and admiration that marks, brings about, or is brought about by Love. Lust is... close, at a distance. Lust is heat and fire, to sear and crisp, and Lust, when nurtured, can even, by strange turns, become Love. But they are not the same.

The virture of Lust is that it breaks you, and it rips you to pieces, and it consumes you, giving you a way by which to define yourself, to feel the deeper, "dirtier" parts of the underside of you. When you lust for something, the heat of it can blind you to so much else, and this can be a salve, and it can be a detriment.

But if you never have the ability to consumate that lust, to transmute and realise the nature of it, you idealise it. Much like unrequited love, lust left unfinished can eat away at you from the inside, can make all other seemings suspect, as you do not know if you are projecting the image and want of that which you never had onto that which you Now Do.

None of which is to say that all unrequited love is actually lust. Rather, that we often forget that we don't know what we don't know. If I make no further in-roads to meet you, to know your self, past my idea of you* then my lust is simply lust, and any love I have is of my self and my own imagination.

Anyway. Lust. Unrequited. If i have known anything it's that sometimes I hold on to physical attractions, in my head, regardless of my emotional connection to a person. If I've ever had a sexual thought about you, chances are I still hold, somewhere in my mind, a thought toward you, in that degree. It's not that I [necessarily] think that we would have made a good couple, or should ever have been in a relationship. Not even a little bit [(though that's probably true, too)].

It just means that, at some point in time, I've wanted to fuck you.

*A debate on knowledge and identity to be had later; for now let it suffice that I may know more of you, that I may refine my idea of you, if I speak with you, interact with you, listen to and hear you, rather than making a story in my head, with no input from you.

Current Mood: I need more to drink.
Current Music: 'Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai'

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From:

salrushdy.livejournal.com

"It's not that I think that we would have made a good couple, or should ever have been in a relationship." most males I know sign that, it's different with females, this is a tragedy of the life man

From:

nausved.livejournal.com

From an evolutionary standpoint, it makes sense. Genetic studies have revealed that only a portion of the male human population passes on its genes each generation, while virtually all of the female population is reproductively successful each generation (though with the advent of birth control, this may no longer be the case).

This means that women exert strong sexual selection pressure on men—they are very picky about whom they will sleep with, and will save it for those who are the better catch (that is, those they feel a real attachment to). Men exert hardly any sexual selection pressures on women—they lose out by having a limited sexual desire.

The interesting thing about this, IMO, is that faithfulness is one of the sexual pressures that women place on men; the more women a man has, the less inclined other women are to rear children with him (since he will presumably have to divide his resources amongst all his children, plus there is the very pressing danger of disease). I suspect this is why you get men who are very picky about love (love being, essentially, a willingness to extend large bulks of his resources and refrain from acting out on his desires for other women) and not so much about sex (for those times that he is not in love and thus not expected to maintain faithfulness).

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Unrequited Lust

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