Not so good a morning, by some measures.

[wolven7]

OhGr - [Devil]--- I've not been sleeping, very well, lately. Dreams have been pretty deep, with a very strong pull. Which, last night, was really just my own fault, so far as that goes. (Addict - [Monster Side]). I literally asked for that, and I got what I asked for. The pieces were from very deep, definitely Un-, deeper shadow, as it were. Dreams of having gone to school with people who never existed, of attractions to collections of features playing out in the back rooms and alleys of Cinefext, which became Junkman's Daughter...

Processed it, and I started thinking about Erin, whom I've not seen in a great while, and whose last name I can't seem remember, to save my life. Wondering how she's doing, and such.

Chumbawamba - [The Good Ship Lifestyle]--- I'm feeling a number of things, this morning, and not many of them are going to be good for your mental picture of me. Or maybe they will. No... No, they will.

Maybe later I'll write a treatise on something closer to something that no one (so far as I've seen) has ever tackled, but first you must tell me: What are your thoughts on unrequited Lust?

[11.05am: The Young Gods - [Donnez Les Esprits]--- Also, I think Screamin' Jay Hawkins, or at least his Voice, was in my dream, somewhere, last night...]

Comments

[raoin.livejournal.com]

it exists, there's not a whole lot you can do about it, it could easily be the cause of numerous social ills.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Very matter-of-fact, there.

I elect me the captain.

[hametsunosaturn.livejournal.com]

You managed to get "The Good Ship Lifestyle" stuck in my head. That's such a great song.

I recall a day when I was pissed at some of my friends and ended up going to a nearby playground. I was standing at the top of a wooden pirate ship play thing and that song came to my mind at the time. Alas, that pirate ship and playground were torn down and replaced with lame, very average, primary colored metal playground equipment. :/

But that's neither here nor there. Unrequited lust is dreadful. Unrequited love can be poetic and inspirational and depressive chic or something indie or emo like that. Unrequited lust just leaves you writhing on a bed imagining things and longing for ghost hands to finally make contact. It's especially bad on hot summer nights. Though, I suppose it can be inspirational as well, for anyone who creates lust-themed art (art being general here, visual, sound, text, etc).

I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping well, though.

Re: I elect me the captain.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

It is a great song. I wouldn't even know how great it is, were it not for comorbid.

I'm sorry to hear they removed that ship. It sounds pretty awesome. Reminds me of the play ground equipment, at my elementary school. Tire pit, rope net, several sliding poles, crow's nest, slide, monkey bars, hanging rings, all over wood chips. Wonderful. Now it's all plastic and padded safety flooring. :\

That's an interesting description. Very tactile and exact. Like phantom limb, syndrome, only inside-out and with a whole other person...

And I think I should have described it as sleeping Too well, too heavily, and not Waking well...

Re: I elect me the captain.

[hametsunosaturn.livejournal.com]

A lot of the songs on that album were actually really quite good. "One By One" "Drip Drip Drip" "Amnesia" "Mary Mary" and more.

Yeah, it was an elementary school playground (not mine, but near my home) and it sounds about the same as yours. Though there are still wood chips there, the same thing happened. :/

Ah, yes, sometimes sleeping too heavily can be bad.

Re: I elect me the captain.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the waking kind of negates all the rest.

[anarchette.livejournal.com]

Chumbawamba.

how dare you.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I dare, madam.

What are you doing Tuesday?

[anarchette.livejournal.com]

any tuesday, or a specific one?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I meant the Tuesday directly following that comment, as that was my birthday Tuesday. :)

[selenasaberwind.livejournal.com]

Hrm.... unrequited lust, eh? In many ways, I'd have to agree with most of the other people's ideas. It can be destructive, if you allow it to consume you and poison your relationship that you have that was built on both love and lust. And I also think it is the point of wondering, yet never knowing. You might lust after someone whole-loin-ly, yet never have it actualized, and in reality, they may make a TERRIBLE lover, but it seems beautiful in your head, because, again, you have nothing else to compare to other than your idealized thoughts and wants. No one ever wants, or fantasizes about bad sex, yanno?

But also on a different note, I believe it is the ability to not give in to our physical temptations and find resolve in relationships based on love that truly make us more sophisticated creatures, and people as well. Of course there is the whole "perfectly happy poly-amorous relationship" argument that could be made, but I'll not explore that at the moment.

So, yeah, there's my 2 1/2 cents on the matter.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That's a very good point. What if the requited lust is worse than the fantasy? Wasn't thinking about that angle of it, at the time.

And yes, that is something a friend of mine once told me, that being able to Hold multiple desires, but to arrange them, rank them in importance, allows us to separate a deeper love from physical attraction. That we make our choices, and we keep our integrity. But what constitutes integrity, in these matters, is a whole different equation...

That latter is like some kind of Platonic Ideal for Hedonists (if I may mix my Greecian philosophical schools, for a moment). It is something that can be talked about, even described in the abstract, but I have never, ever seen it work without someone getting seriously hurt, jealousy taking over, and someone wanting more of someone than they or others are willing to give.

Which is not to say that it Can't, only that i've not yet seen it.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

That latter is like some kind of Platonic Ideal for Hedonists (if I may mix my Greecian philosophical schools, for a moment). It is something that can be talked about, even described in the abstract, but I have never, ever seen it work without someone getting seriously hurt, jealousy taking over, and someone wanting more of someone than they or others are willing to give.

Which is not to say that it Can't, only that i've not yet seen it.

How many polyamorous people do you know, though? I've seen it work, many times. And been a part of a working example myself. (Small pet peeve...people saying they've never seen this work, and using this as evidence that it is in some way unattainable, when they simply lack evidence from due to their own inexperience. It's like someone who lives on a desert island calling conversation a platonic ideal.)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I know quite a few, actually.

And I specifically said that i had simply not yet been witness to polyamourous relationship that had lasted, or worked out without someone being more than reasonably hurt.

If yours works, then now I know of one.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

With the understanding that people can label themselves with whatever terms they like:

There is postulation in the community that people who are unable to make things work for the reasons you describe are not actually polyamorous by nature. If they're failing repeatedly because they're jealous, possessive, unable to balance complex emotional needs intrinsic in multiple partnerships...then maybe they're not poly. Or maybe they're just not ready for polyamorous commitment yet. So yeah, that's why I ask how many you know, if those are the reasons you've seen...meaning no disprespect to the people in question, sounds like more like people experimenting than mature, experienced poly families.

And I wouldn't say "works" in the present sense, but certainly worked, and beautifully. And when it was no longer in the present sense, it wasn't for any reasons related to the poly situation.

If you're interested in learning more about this relationship form, there are great lj communities out there for support, etc.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

Actually, I feel a need to edit this...it depends on how you define polyamoury. If you are thinking of anything other than monogamy as polyamoury, then I am currently in a very happily polyamorous relationship. If you use the more precise meaning of maintaining more than one emotional relationship (many loves) then I am currently not, because my other emotional commitment ended (again for reasons unrelated to the poly situation.)

Also, I should add that you actually know more people than that (or at least have met...are acquainted with?) more happily poly people than just me, but I'm not comfortable shoving them out of the closet for the sake of example. So I guess you still don't know -of- them...meh, I don't know where I'm rambling with this.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

furthermore, polyamoury has very little to do with hedonism. Entirely different subject matter.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well, to a hedonist, everything has to do.

It was a partially-humourous comparison. Apologies if you took offense.

[teididh.livejournal.com]

nono, no offense. :) Rueful correction, more than anything, remembering how much work polyamoury can be...I mean sure there's pleasure aplenty, but hedonism it ain't, any more than monogamy. Which is to say sometimes, pure hedonism...other times...

my thoughts on unrequited lust:

[the-old-songs.livejournal.com]

If I'm not careful, I shape it into bricks, build a house from it, and live in it. Particularly unfortunate because I am married. I don't bother keeping a secret that I have a wandering eye... sometimes I worry about what would happen if it was requited, though. I read the follow-up post of yours already. I agree with it entirely. It's easy to idealize what you know you can't have, and boy are you in trouble then.

Re: my thoughts on unrequited lust:

[wolven.livejournal.com]

The possibility of requite is sometimes much worse, yes...