How many of you have daughters?

[wolven7]

Melingo - [Naringon]---If you have daughters, I want you to do me a favour, please:

Teach your daughets to fight.

Melingo - [Sin Luna (Live)]--- Teach them to fight well. Teach them to fight dirty. Teach them to fight so hard no one will ever fuck with them again. Teach them to fight for family, and loyalty, and the honour of their friends, and to know the difference between a good fight and a bad fight.

Teach your daughters to fight physically, mentally, emotionally, and teach them to have something worth fighting for.

And then, when their teachers ask, when bullies try to turn things around, when people try to blame the fights on them, I want you to teach your daughters the following phrase, and teach them to mean it:

"I don't start fights. I finish them."

Portishead - [We Carry On]--- One of the remaining gender disparities is the fact that men are still taught that they must fight for and protect the honour of women, which is ... well-meaning. But, men, we should fight for and protect the honour of everyone (especially ourselves). And that means being able to recognise when a woman can fight for her own honour.

And that means everyone making damn sure that she can.

Comments

[thurisazshole.livejournal.com]

i don't have a daughter, but my father taught my sister not only how to fight well, dirty, and not to stop until its good and over, but to know WHEN to fight... thats more of the gist i think you might also be going for here. when.

my sister has asked me to help teach this to her daughter.. i happily accepted. so did my dad, but he can't get around much anymore like he used to. we'll have to setup a spot in their basement, well padded..for lots of gnome tossing. er, teaching children how and when to fight, that is.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That is very much key, yes.

[vonfaustus.livejournal.com]

I'm actually on par with this 100%.

It wasn't so long ago that my love of someone was questioned when I refused to become involved in an argument they were in. My response?

"She's a big girl. She can handle herself."

We aren't taught to protect women so much as we're taught they can't protect themselves. Which, having grown up a rather small boy who had a tendency to piss off those larger than I, is a lie. Anyone can protect themselves. One way or another--and that confidence, knowing you can hold your ground (physically, emotionally, and so forth) is a big, big deal.

[vonfaustus.livejournal.com]

Oh, mind if I repost this in my own journal with proper credit?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Thanks.

[nausved.livejournal.com]

I got verbal fighting skills from my highly argumentative father (rastaban); sometimes, I can even convince him of things.

I got my physical fighting skills (rusty by now) from Girl Scouts, where I worked my way up the ranks until there was only one Marylin Manson-obsessed 10-year-old in my troop who could beat me—and just barely at that.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

See, that's a good Girl Scout troop. Most former Girl Scouts I know complain that they rarely, if ever, got any truly useful training.

[iconnu.livejournal.com]

I got an adapted lesson from my uncle Toby when I was a kid after my folks denied my request to skip summer camp one year and spend the summer at his place in NM taking martial arts. As I remember it:

"Listen kid, you're pretty small. And really, it's not that you can't hurt people; it's that you'll probably get hurt in the process. So, this I what I want you to do when you think you might get into a fight.

If you can, avoid it--walk away and just keep on walking. Anyone that's going to hit you isn't anyone you need to worry about keeping around anyway.

If you can't avoid it, run. Run as fast and as hard as you can for the nearest group of people, police officer, lockable steel door, whatever makes sense.

If you can't avoid it, and you can't run, fight. If you can, kick them in the shin as hard as you are able--that will stop most people in their tracks and give you time to run.

If that won't work, fight dirty. Don't worry about punching them in the nose or kicking them in the balls; don't worry about small targets. You're full of hard edges and sharp angles; use them to your advantage. Do whatever you have to do, but try to only do enough so that you can get away. The longer you stick around, the more chance there is of you getting hurt, and like I said, you're kind of small.

And kid, don't even think about fighting fair. I mean it. Scratch. Kick. Twist. Gouge. Bite. Hit them with whatever is handy. Claw out a god damned eye if that's what it takes. But don't get mad, or you'll get stupid. Just hurt them enough that you can get away and they'll think twice about coming after you.

Then run. And call the cops."

Since I sincerely doubt I can remember a monologue verbatim from almost 20 years ago, I'm going to have to assume that my memory has taken some license with this over the years, but the general premise is still the same. When it comes to fighting*:

function fight_fight_fight();
{
declare @action string
if(canAvoid = true)
{ set @action='avoid'; }
else if {canRun = true)
{ set @action='run'; }
else
{ set @action='rip his fucking face off';
set @action='run'
set @action='call cops'
}
}

---

* nb - this is not supposed to work, it's just a codey-sounding mishmosh.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Heheheh. Nice.

[brontosproximo.livejournal.com]

I teach daughters to fight.

A practical tip though; it's not simply enough to show a girl to hit their attacker in the scrotum... First of all it's a harder target than you might think. Secondly it changes the nature of the conflict and amps up the level of violence the man is willing to commit.

Find a professional to teach your children and ask for qualifications.

For example, who is the Master's Master? Most high ranking students should know the name of their Master's Master. I know the names of my Grandmaster and his Grandmaster.

If they don't know, run.

When was the last time the Master tested for rank? Even high ranking black belts test every 5 years or so. I was present at my Grandmaster's last test, about 3 years ago.

Lastly, as when the last time that the Master attended a seminar as a student. My Grandmaster and I (along with a group) are going to Korea for seminars and a competition later this week.

If they don't know the last time the Master took a class, run.

Most importantly PEOPLE, including girl-type people, need to know that they are important and need to be encouraged to develop a sense of self-worth.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Precisely. Everyone all the time.

[ikkin-of-avalon.livejournal.com]

*hug* In spite of my upbringing *hug*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[davidsfoley.livejournal.com]

Agreed!

Keep in mind, there can be issues (http://ldragoon.livejournal.com/225628.html).

And while my personal testimony of nonviolence is all well and good, self-preservation is key. I've been told this by fellow Quakers as well, so my moral compunctions are completely mollified.

Personally, I've found that if I avoid certain situations in the first place, it helps even the eventuality of a fight. And being able to swallow your pride helps too: I've avoided a couple of sticky situations by saying "I'm sorry," even though it was someone else's fault.

For some reason, this joke popped into my head. It's inspired by a real conversation:

Tina: Hey George, what do you think of Lisa?
George: She's hot, but her girlfriend's awfully jealous. You shouldn't even be thinking about it.
Tina: But it'd just be for fun. It's not like I'm gonna get her pregnant!
George: Is her girlfriend strong?
Tina: I'm bigger; I could take her.
George: Is she strong enough to hold a gun?
Tina: . . .

Er, one last thing. I plan on following your advice when I have the opportunity.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I got my 'technique' from a Mercedes Lackey book. A scene, in which the main character is a teen/barely-post-teen woman learning to fight, without her weapons or armour. She is told by her tutor to use anything at hand, and is then told *how* to do so, at length, in detail, after failing to do so adequately during the lesson. Character then, within the next fifty pages, has to put this lesson to good use as an assassin is sent after her. At an impressionable time in my growing up it drove home the idea of paying attention, even if it didn't do more than subprocess until I was at least in college.

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

the next lesson.

tell your daughter that she's beautiful.

[hametsunosaturn.livejournal.com]

*takes fighting stance* A-ya!

I like learning to fight. ^_^

[jaythebarbarian.livejournal.com]

Huzz-fucking-ah, my friend

[jerem-morrow.livejournal.com]

My daughter is already on her way.