To Alcohol: The cause of-- and Solution to-- All of Life's Problems.

[wolven7]

A rant on Parties:

i want people to do what they want to do, to open up and just fucking Go for it, at parties.

And that doesn't really happen, anymore.

People associate it with drama.

Do you know why drama happens? Because people feel "guilty" afterward, or they don't just ride the good, and ignore the bullshit.

Maybe I'm an anomaly. Maybe I like generating chaos, temptation, vice, indulgence, and decadence (I do).

But god DAMN IT, those are the times people remember. Those are the epic stories, the encounters that Mean something, to people.

Strip poker, naked twister, marshmallow cream-smeared people on the back porch. Drunk sex, threesomes, make-out sessions, people having sex on the air conditioner.

Near-orgies, epic-drunkenness, Wesson Oil, mustard, and chocolate syrup, rubbed onto and/or licked off of people, truth-or-dare!

All of these things have happened. But there's no way of knowing if they'll ever happen again.

And maybe that's getting older. Maybe that's what happens when you're in your mid-to-late-twenties, running up on thirty. You wind down. You settle down. But why? Why the fuck would you?

Maybe I didn't have a satisfactory high-school/college experience, or maybe there's something else missing in my brain, but I don't think that I should have to slow down what I want, as I get older. I don't think I should be expected to change my wants and desires, just because I'm older than I was, yesterday.

I find these things fun. I always have. I don't know that i always will, but Jesus Jumped-Up Christ... What the fuck happened?

Tastes do change. Wants, desires, fun times, all change. I accept that. What works for you, now, may not be the same as it used to be. And that's fine, with me. But mine? They haven't changed, much. Maybe I don't want to have those parties, as frequently, but somewhere, in every party, I want the same thing.

Fuck it. I'm going to bed.

Comments

[mirrorofagirl.livejournal.com]

I just hit that awful 30 mark in Feb. I can tell you for me, personally, things changed all of the sudden a few years back. Those parties became risky. I have kids, and when you have kids, all it takes is to be at one of those parties, and have someone see you do something along those lines. Next thing you know, someone gets mad and wants to cause shit (you know how the "scene" can be)- one call to a boss, DFACS, you name it and your whole world goes to shit.

My myspace had to come down because lord forbid one of the parents of the girls in my daughters Girl Scout troop see I have friends with blue hair, or that I like going to goth clubs, I'd loose my troop and my daughter would never forgive me. Same goes for jobs- the first place most potential employers look when doing "background" checks is myspace. And half of my friends wonder why they can't land a decent job.

Yep, getting old sucks. Unless you have a job in an industry where being a freak is cool, and have no kids, you have to grow up. We see what happens to those who don't. :(

[wolven.livejournal.com]

http://www.xkcd.com/137/

[mirrorofagirl.livejournal.com]

LOL, trust me I get it. I'm just saying though.. ;)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I know how it is. What I'm saying is that we need to work to Change That.

[mirrorofagirl.livejournal.com]

Add it to the list right?

One of these days when I can break away from the kids I need to join Liz and visit.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

It's a long list, but I'm working on making it shorter.

And yeah. You do.

[cailement.livejournal.com]

I was never into any of that anyway, but I might just be a small part. Usually, when I was at a party when such depochery was happening, I'd groan and go "again?" and politely wait for people to get it out of their systems. Not because I had any problem with it, mind, but because usually the people INVOLVED would have a problem with it when they came back to themselves and realized what they'd done. Which is silly. I try to make it a practice, drunk or sober, not to do anything that I'm going to regret in the morning. Saves on all of that horrible self-loathing. (What comes out of my mouth need not apply to this train of thought, as I have very little control over what comes out of that orphice. *sigh*) It's sad that people have issues with such things, but then again, people are crazy.

I also note what the person above me said. I use to go to parties where people would do drugs and I wouldn't care because I wasn't doing them and they usually weren't the kind of drugs that got people killed. But then I got it into my head that I wanted to be employed by the gov'ment man, and if they ever caught me AT one of those parties, it'd go down as immoral behavior and they wouldn't let me teach the kids. That's a whole lot to give up, just cuz your friends wanted to get high.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I do my best to live by that rule. I also do my best to simply Not Regret the things I do. They teach me, one way or another, and while I may never do it again, it doesn't mean I would change the past. Again, that's me, and it doesn't always work that way.

Can you teach? Do You do drugs? Do you encourage your students to do drugs?

If the answers to those are Yes, no, and no, respectively, then your "morality," in regards to them, is settled. Nothing else should matter. Period.

[iconnu.livejournal.com]

"Should" and "does" are frequently only distantly related, if that. It should not matter if a student sees me drinking a glass of wine with dinner while out at a restaurant and in a clearly non-inebriated state, but it does. And, depending on whether or not a parent cares enough to make a stink about it, it could cost me my job.

You choose to accept it as a part of the job, but the amount of free will that k-12 schoolteachers give up is absurd.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I know. As I said, though, it's something that I'm extremely dedicated to changing.

[cailement.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree. My past makes me who I am, why would I want to go back and change something when I pretty much like who I am now?

And also, *I* agree, but try getting that across to a school board. They're still too much of older generations that haven't grown into something that can handle something convoluted like that.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah. For now.

[cailement.livejournal.com]

Exactly. *Be the change you want to see in the world.*

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

One of my favourite lines to paraphrase. 'Be that which you want to see in the world.' works better for my ends. ;)

[prosewitch.livejournal.com]

Down with complacence! Is kinda my motto these days, and has been for a while. I loathe getting so comfortable in a situation that I cease to look for new and exciting experiences.

And I, too, enjoy debaucherous parties, though they may not happen very often due to a whole bunch of social factors. I've learned the hard way that Teh Dramaz is often on other people's ends more than my own, so if I walk into a social event with the intention of simply acting how I feel and not intentionally causing anyone harm and trusting the Universe to provide, things usually go well, and any Drama is seen in retrospect, when other people act out or bitch or whatever.

How else does one acquire the really good stories?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Pretty much mirrors my current feelings, on the subject, yes.

I know just what you mean.

[the-old-songs.livejournal.com]

Those were good parties. I recall whipped-cream fights that turned into no-boys-allowed making out... getting s tanked that I wouldn't go into Tim's bathroom barefoot because it wasn't clean, and the guys convinced me to wear coke boxes on my feet for shoes...

Sadly, hangovers are worse now than they used to be. And I am responsible to another person.

But I do miss the adrenaline, quite a bit. The last 5 minutes before you kiss a new person was always my favorite feeling in the world, and I struggled with that quite a bit when I got married.

Want to know something sad? I had a similar feeling the other day. The delicious anticipation... it was when my new cookware came in the mail. Shameful, I know, but excitement is excitement no matter where it comes from.

Still, I would like to go to a party like what you describe again sometime. Just less frequently, and I'd need to leave earlier. :)

Re: I know just what you mean.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

And you would go, just to be the voyeur? Just to know that those things still happen? Vicarious, as it were?

I generally wonder these things, because... well. I tend to think-- and maybe this is indicative of my own twisted mental state-- that everyone has some urge, deep down, to be sated, some urge to participate.

Again, though: Twisted, a little evil, and a professional Temptation Conductor.

Re: I know just what you mean.

[the-old-songs.livejournal.com]

I most sincerely doubt that I am To Be Trusted. I believe in my heart that I am a cheater (I believe this about all primates, so please don't take it as self-deprecation) and that I have remained faithful due mostly to circumstance but partly due to the force of my will.

Putting myself in a situation like that would be a terrible choice for me to make.

Will I make it anytime soon? Probably not. Will I make that choice one day? I hope not, but maybe so.

Re: I know just what you mean.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

A conversation i had once, with my friend Caroline, encompassed a lot of my feelings on these matters. She told me that she believed that physical attraction came along, and would manifest for any number of people, in life, but that the mark of commitment was to be able to keep yourself in check, to remove yourself from those situations which tempt you to do something after which you couldn't live with yourself.

Love is self-control in the face of temptation; making that temptation subject to you, rather than the other way around.

I liked that.

[lillornyn.livejournal.com]

It's funny -- I used to be you, and I think you might be older than I am (of course, the whole concept of linear time is pretty well a riot). Now I'm a retired Lord of Corruption, and while I miss the "good old days" every once in a while, I've also seen the "rock on, and to hell with the consequences!" mindset get people shot, wreck lives, ruin marriages, et cetera, ad infinitum. And not just the "supporting cast" I never gave a shit about back in the day -- dear friends, jump-in-front-of-the-bus friends. The good guys (irony intended).

It's a grey area, to be sure, and one that changes (at least for me personally) fairly often and according to my mood. But I long since reconciled myself to the fact that consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, and that so long as I remain true to myself (and, these days, part of that 'being true' is being conscious and respectful of the ways in which my actions affect others), all was good. Somewhere in that philosophy, too, is the implicit understanding that I could only make those decisions for me, and would have to deal with what everyone else decided for themselves as well.

To me, though, what I'm hearing is less that you're wanting it for yourself and more like you're wanting others who USED to want it to want it again -- for yourself. But we hardly know each other, so what the hell do I know?

(And fwiw, if I decide to get back into the temptation game, I know who to talk to now, right? *g*)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Oh, the consequences are always in my mind. And I try to make sure they're in the minds of everyone involved. That's the best part, when all of the possible outcomes are present, thought through, and the action is performed.

I always hope that the responsibility for actions is known and that the actions are done, knowing them, Because of them. That nothing is left undone due to fear, or guilt, but only because, as you say, it would not be true to the Self of that person.

Temptation and vice, for me, are all about helping the person involved find precisely the thing that will open them up to "untold vistas," as it were, and letting them go to them, as honestly as possible.

And sometimes I give speeches on responsibility in the middle of very potentially awkward situations. It's all in flux. ;)

[techiecl.livejournal.com]

Those parties still happen...just not with "our" regular crowd. Perhaps our familar gang is in a rut or whatever... I was at another party that I had to leave shamefully early due to prior obligations where stuff like that was beginning to break out. Much to my chagrin.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I think mech_angel has it right (see below)... Now the question is what the hell to do about it...

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

I know I never say much to this...

Your Job, and your seeming love for debauchery, occasionally makes me wonder if I'm cramping your style, honestly. This kind of thing has never been My Thing, no matter how hard I tried to make it that way because the cool kids did. I embarrass myself at parties by saying things I probably shouldn't and trying to fight people, not getting naked and making out with random folks. And it's not a self control thing...If I had less of that, there'd just be more people with broken limbs, not more of my boobs out. I can't see that being a good thing, though some part of me is perversely amused.

As a solution to your end of the problem, I offer simply that you've gotten too used to parties ending up that way, and you don't try subtly enough to make it happen, anymore? Combined with that people may expect it and therefore are prepared mentally...the machinations must be more delicately done, but more heavy-handed at the same time.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

If I had less of that, there'd just be more people with broken limbs, not more of my boobs out. I can't see that being a good thing, though some part of me is perversely amused.

Yeah. That made me smile an evil, proud little smile, honestly.

And I think you're right, but how do I apply More Pressure, while still being Subtle? It makes me think I ought to be studying Jujitsu, and applying it to conceptual patterns. Or that I need to find a job that allows dojo membership as part of the health insurance-covered exercise package. But I ramble.

Point being, I need to find that crux point where my wants and those of everyone else meet, stick a lever in there (or perhaps a mind-eraser-soaked straw), and push, twist, and swirl.

I mean, it works for so many other things, right?

[anarchette.livejournal.com]

Been there. Done that. Still HATE the taste of marshmallow fluff. >< Let's all go get hammered and set shit on fire. I'm keeping my top on though. haha.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think I could eat the stuff, unless paid a great deal of money.

I don't know what it is, but I've just been craving insane debauchery, lately.

And there's nothing to say that fire could not also be involved, in many and various ways.

[deathboy.livejournal.com]

IAWTC.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Cheers, mate.