Eat the fruit, prick the flesh

[wolven7]

I've been venemous and vitriolic, lately. It's because I've hit a point where, for the past few days, I've watched my every effort to [re]connect with certain people in my life fall down, or be thrown back at me, spit in my face, and it kind of hurts me, because I don't know what I could have done to deserve it.

I disappeared. Or we never really knew each other. Yes. That much is true. That's all well and good. But I'm making an effort. A slow effort. A perilous effort, exposing layers, vulnerabilities, blah blah blah.

Gnarls Barkley - [Neighbors]--- I have "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" stuck in my head.

Back to the point. I'm fucking trying, ain't I?

Gnarls Barkley - [Surprise]--- "Oh but the work would never be done
When all you need is to be met halfway, but nobody tries
Don't be surprised"

Gnarls Barkley - [Blind Mary]--- There are currents and undercurrents, to this album, single lines that drag me in to the composition, snatches of beat and refrain that hook and catch, pulling me, from one song to the next, not smoothly or fully, but as a finger around a wine glass, simile sound that stutters and slips, harmonizing a whole... I need to listen to this album, more, because with each listen I hear more and more to which I want to listen.

I bought this and Third, together, and have been hearing them mentioned in the same sentences, since...

Gnarls Barkley - [Who's Gonna Save My Soul]--- It's time for bed, and it's not all bad: Third, at Trivia. amazingmrparker won a full-colour copy of House of Leaves. And i just realised the Many, serious, deep, horrifying waysin which that book is going to Freak. Him. Out. Good luck, sir.

Got a rather large "shot" of Jägermeister, with dinner. Good times with people, good rapport, pleasant company.

Certainly a dynamic of past and present on which to think.

Good night.

Comments

[plantyhamchuk.livejournal.com]

Here is my insufficient online hug:

*HUG*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks. Much appreciated.

[cailement.livejournal.com]

This might come across as critical and mean, but I only mean the former, in the educational critique kind of way. Is it that much of a bad thing that you do not reconnect with these people who obviously don't want to (for whatever reason) reconnect with you? I know how much you like connecting with people. I know how great it feels. It honestly amazes me that you can still be on good terms with So Fucking Goddamn Many people. But you don't need to know everyone. And if you have made that honest effort to reconnect, and they're just NOT responding, then I don't think you should be upset about it. Or, okay, be upset, but don't let it fester. You have affected the part of the universe that you can, and they, being creatures of free will, have chosen something else. You can't really do any more about it at this point, and focusing on it at this point will probably just hurt you more than if you just let them go back into the background of your universe. Also, if they don't wanna get to know you again, sucks to be them cuz you're a great guy to know, and maybe they're not the kind of people now that you want to know in the first place.

On a completely separate note. Who started coloring House first? You or greygirlbeast?

[raidingparty.livejournal.com]

(listens to good advice, tries to pound into my own head about last ex- not trying to stay on good terms)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You can't really do any more about it at this point, and focusing on it at this point will probably just hurt you more than if you just let them go back into the background of your universe.

This is precisely what I'm trying to teach myself. But I have to talk myself through it, step by step, speak out the realisations, things like that, or it will fester, and it will never process to the point where I can actually let those people go be their own people, away from me.

On a completely separate note. Who started coloring House first? You or greygirlbeast?

Completely separate incidences, honestly. The book gets into you...

[amazingmrparker.livejournal.com]

Wait, it's a coloring book too?! Fucking sweet!

In all seriousness, if this thing is as freaky as you guys are all making it out to be, then I'm all kinds of looking forward to it. With where I'm at in my life right now (ref: my last week or so's worth of posts), being shaken up and freaked out is either the LAST thing I need or EXACTLY what I need, but either way, bring it the fuck on. I'll put it to the front of my reading queue and start it as soon as I'm through with Cryptonomicon (which is, for some reason - probably all the math involved - taking me forever to read).

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I think you're gonna love it.

Let me know if you need any tape-measures, and/or nails.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

I think it's working, but nowhere near where you're expecting it to because of recent freakish synchronicity, or wanting it to. Look at what you've done so far, dear, and remember that other people are a variable factor in the things you construct.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You may be right, there. It's just hard to keep the process moving, when there are so many pieces sticking...