Goings On.

[wolven7]

I could list the skills I'm looking for, but I think those of you who've answered are who are going to answer. I will say this one last thing, though: no matter what your projects or interests, even if they are of an individual character, knowledge of people and resources is never a bad thing.

Thank you, to all of you for your words of support and kindness, after yesterday's announcement. (Nine Inch Nails - [The Warning]). Truth be told, I've no idea how bad it is, yet, but... Well. Yeah. Thank you.

I've been thinking, lately, about the fact that I lead a rather privileged life, and I make a lot friends, in a lot of arenas. This leads to me and mine getting a good deal of special treatment. Combine this with my natural inclination toward Arrogance, and you have a very dangerous combination with a possibility for something rather bad: A sense of entitlement. A sense of entitlement can mean a number of things, but generally it just means that I begin to feel, in certain situations, as if getting my way is what is Right and Good.

Dethklok - [Birthday Dethday]--- When people look askance at my exuberance and comfort, in a restaurant, my yelling things at Pete, or the conversations we have at 1 am, in R Thomas, I want to ask them who the fuck they think they are, to judge me. They aren't the ones who put in the time and the love to get to know these people and create and engage a situation, with them. (Nine Inch Nails - [Vessel]). It's territorial, it's proprietary. It's protective and it's not exactly a good thing. People, i guess, have the right to go out to a restaurant and not feel uncomfortable. On the one hand.

On the other hand, there's this: It's the fucking Vortex. Or, similarly, it's three in the funking Morning! If you see bare breasts in pictures on every wall, surrounded by taxidermy, holographic jesus, and all kinds of other weird shit, and then get offended at the familiar and boisterous tone I take, maybe you need to look around you, again. (Dethklok - [Murmaider]). If you're out at any point between midnight and dawn, then maybe you need to be more aware of what it is you're thinking you might run into, when out and about. I choose to be up at that time of night, because I know and love the things I'm likely to see, the kind of mood I'm likely to encounter. It's the Not-Daytime-Mood. You understand?

In short, it can be summed up, thusly:

Nine Inch Nails - [The Great Destroyer]--- I Belong Here. You Don't. This is my place. The staff, managers, and throngs of other people here all say that this place is Ours. And if you don't like what that means, then maybe you shouldn't be here. Maybe you should go.

That table is mine. You're a fucking tourist. Pay your tab, tip your 15%, get out, and go tour it somewhere else. This Place Is MINE. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

Dethklok - [Face Fisted]--- And that's not really very attractive. It's not a good kind of person to be, I think... In all honesty, I'll welcome anyone into my social circle, but there's always a twinge, in the back of my mind, that says Respect What This Is. Don't get offended at something you don't even know anything about. You wouldn't go into another country, or a religion, not knowing anything about their customs, and then get Ridiculously offended, when they do what is theirs, and has been for years, in a place in which you are just a guest, would you?

If so, you're the reason Sodom and Gomorrah got burned to the ground. (Squidbillies - [Early's Song]). Hospitality should always be sincerely offered, and never be refused.

But that's rambling: Respect, and not taking things for Granted, is, I think, the point.

Nine Inch Nails - [Survivalism]--- When we talked about it, last night, before bed, mech_angel said that I just need to recognise that it Is special, that people see me as special, and that I should return the favour, and not take it as a Deserved thing. It's an earned thing. It's a privilege. And I shouldn't become smug about it, so much as I should revel in it, and humbly do what I can to continue earning it...

*Deep Breath*

Okay. That was long and rambly, but my thoughts were kind of all over the place. I hope I accurately and adequately conveyed my ambivalence on this issue, because it really is a kind of a dilemma, for me...

Dreamed of almost being robbed by someone who was supposed to be installing an outdoor in-/above-ground pool, but I disarmed him. My mom, combined with Jessica Atreidies and Sarah Connor, pointed out all the things I did wrong, and how I could have done it more quickly and efficiently.

Comments

[bluesummers.livejournal.com]

I begin to feel, in certain situations, as if getting my way is what is Right and Good.

I think that's a big - and understandable - issue for most people, and I've been trying to combat it in myself lately. Maybe you don't think it's something that needs be fought, which is totally your call, but there's a joke that's helped me with it a bit:

So a woman is watching the news and she sees a traffic report - there's a crazy man driving on the wrong side of the freeway. Knowing that her husband is out in that area of town, she calls him up on his cell and warns him, "Honey, be careful, the news says there's some idiot out there driving the wrong way on the freeway!"

Her husband replies, "Yeah, but there's not just one - there's hundreds of them!"

The important thing to remember is that, for all you know, the targets of your ire might think they have their own set rapport with their surroundings, which is not necessarily less-valuable than yours simply because you're the consciousness doing the observation. It's only reasonable to expect them to respect your rapport if you respect theirs. If the relationship they're looking for is totally incongruous with the setting, they'll figure it out pretty quickly.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. My mom fought similar cancer last year, which was very difficult for me to deal with, and we recently found out it's totally beat. I hope that your sister has the same success.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I appreciate that.

And yeah, I'm very conscious of the fact that they may have a certain set of expectations for their atmosphere, but that always gets countered, in my mind, with the fact that I'm there almost Every Night (or every Tuesday, in the case of Trivia), and that fact tries to confer more importance to my opinion, because it is more often corroborated.

Not necessarily true, but part of the thought process...

[n3m3sis42.livejournal.com]

I think I kind of know what you mean. Sometimes I feel entitled, too, although it's in different situations. Sometimes it makes things a little ugly, but I don't know if I feel that it's, like, wrong.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Exactly my problem... The fact of entitlement is THAT you feel it's right and good... so to feel Wrong that it's Right causes a bit of cognitive dissonance...