How terrible, all who would despise.
Aug. 16th, 2002 02:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7It's a new day, and i've made many concerted efforts, today, to find a place to live, and one concerted effort to find a job. For those who may or many not still be reading this, i'll be around, more, when i have a place. Somewhere i can call home... I don't know if anyone believes me, on that, but i don't particularly care either. It's true, whether people believe it or not. And today is a new one.
There is not much in the way of things i have to do, today. Hmm. And not too terribly much on my mind. I've been wondering, more, at the changes which have overcome me, recently. Or.. which i have undertaken.. overcome... I don't know how to put it, but there are changes. I'm more raw-ly Me. The Dark red-purple-black-silver-lighting-blue that is my Core and my Spark, is more There. Things that touch it, touch it nearly wholly, and things that aggravate, send raw shocks, to the core... And perhpas this is my doing...
I've stripped away so much, in the process of trying to make sure that i was myself, that i may have pulled away, to the core... And i'm not exactly unhappy with this. It simply makes it a little more difficult to get used to... If i Flow With things, i refuse to allow them to carry me. I flow With them. It's like a pack, and there is Co-operation. I need Co-Operation. not control...
But i cannot get that, in all places. I don't know how many other people need the Pack, need the co-operation, as i do. And i've had things that promise packs, but aren't. Ended up being control... Feh... Hard to explain. I want to connect with people, flow With, people, and their information. Dance their energies. That's what i want. I want to be able to connect with, and Know someone, and then, if i want, to be able to pull away, to retain the indivduality. I want to do the hive minded individual... And i don't know how to express it here, anymore. I've said it how i can. Maybe, when i have it a little better in my own head, i'll be able to put it down, here. Until then, i'll keep writing what i can.
On a side note, my dad was in my dream, again, last night. We were traveling, around the country, trying to get to school. It was odd... Also a section about Meteor Man, and my mom and my aunt. A piece about a new kind of car, which later became a new kind of pants. Kan't really find the underlying meaning, there, to interperet, other than dealing with my dad. I should contact him... Speaking of contact, it seems as though there are missing lines of communication. Tyme to repair. Mercury, god of communication, tricksters, thieves, and messages.
We'll see. On that note, i'm heading offline, because this post, due to other distractions, has taken me over an hour to write. I'll see you all later.
Day Dream
There is not much in the way of things i have to do, today. Hmm. And not too terribly much on my mind. I've been wondering, more, at the changes which have overcome me, recently. Or.. which i have undertaken.. overcome... I don't know how to put it, but there are changes. I'm more raw-ly Me. The Dark red-purple-black-silver-lighting-blue that is my Core and my Spark, is more There. Things that touch it, touch it nearly wholly, and things that aggravate, send raw shocks, to the core... And perhpas this is my doing...
I've stripped away so much, in the process of trying to make sure that i was myself, that i may have pulled away, to the core... And i'm not exactly unhappy with this. It simply makes it a little more difficult to get used to... If i Flow With things, i refuse to allow them to carry me. I flow With them. It's like a pack, and there is Co-operation. I need Co-Operation. not control...
But i cannot get that, in all places. I don't know how many other people need the Pack, need the co-operation, as i do. And i've had things that promise packs, but aren't. Ended up being control... Feh... Hard to explain. I want to connect with people, flow With, people, and their information. Dance their energies. That's what i want. I want to be able to connect with, and Know someone, and then, if i want, to be able to pull away, to retain the indivduality. I want to do the hive minded individual... And i don't know how to express it here, anymore. I've said it how i can. Maybe, when i have it a little better in my own head, i'll be able to put it down, here. Until then, i'll keep writing what i can.
On a side note, my dad was in my dream, again, last night. We were traveling, around the country, trying to get to school. It was odd... Also a section about Meteor Man, and my mom and my aunt. A piece about a new kind of car, which later became a new kind of pants. Kan't really find the underlying meaning, there, to interperet, other than dealing with my dad. I should contact him... Speaking of contact, it seems as though there are missing lines of communication. Tyme to repair. Mercury, god of communication, tricksters, thieves, and messages.
We'll see. On that note, i'm heading offline, because this post, due to other distractions, has taken me over an hour to write. I'll see you all later.
Day Dream
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no subject
Date: 2002-08-16 12:33 pm (UTC)Mental institution. Now.
Random quote:
Date: 2002-08-16 03:01 pm (UTC)I always loved it because...well, things happen. Sometimes you can save time by going offroad a bit. Ends of some roads lead to new roads. Sometimes you walk your own road.
Everyone's their own person on the highway. You're all going places, you have to deal with each other, and if you don't co-operate, things don't WORK. I wish people would realize that lack of co-operation leads to other, lesser but still significant, crashes.
Ph34r my blue Jawa Sorcerer!
no subject
Date: 2002-08-16 07:48 pm (UTC)i know completey what youre talking about..ive been dealing alot with solitude for these past few months..but one conclusion i did come to.. was that those people do find you, even though you think you are "lost forever" i beleive the hippie word would be (kindred spirit) sometimes for some people it just takes a long time, after 20, my "friends" started dwindling down to nothing and 6 yrs later i have ONE that i have had for 11 years now...but we even live far away..but we always "know what the other is talking about" its just incredbily hard especially when you not an extrovert yourself...i say keep writing of course..theres no good in keeping things in even if no one on this machine makes replies to what you say..writing is definantly my therapy next to painting...i dont want to go into what happens when i dont do one or the other ;)
Re:
Date: 2002-08-16 09:51 pm (UTC)I'm sure i could guess.