Women.

[wolven7]

thenowhere [has something to say to you.]

I hope you listen to her.

Comments

[auriam.livejournal.com]

I think that while women have a lot of unfortunate social pressure, men are far more driven by society to be 'successful,' powerful, achievement-oriented, than women, not to be 'losers.' Women in general have the much greater social pressure to 'look good,' but not as much pressure to achieve. Both sexes have enormous social pressure on them to compete and produce, and both kinds of competition and self-denigrating behavior are unfortunate. But it's more accepted for men to compete and pressure themselves, we're more disposable, less protection-worthy, and more often told to 'toughen up or die.' It's a hard cold society out there.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Social pressures toward men are there, but they are more generally of an affirmative nature, even if often via negative reinforcement. A general sense of "you Can, You Are, and you Will." The social pressures toward women have always been more toward the "you can't, you aren't and unless you do it this way you never will be." Each one has it's problems of expectation, but I tend to find one more pressing than the other (which, itself, is probably a sign of social conditioning).

[auriam.livejournal.com]

I dunno, to me I feel like it's more "you have to do X and Y and be Somebody Important. You have to achieve, impress, and succeed, and your feelings and what you really want to do with your life don't matter." But I don't know what it's like to be a female, since I'm not one. I'm just trying to say, it's not like it's easy to be a man, either. I find it pretty one-sided the way our progressive, supposedly gender-neutral society makes tons of vocal efforts to help females, and assumes all males are just going to be fine. Some of us need help and encouragement too.

I get a feeling, from most news stories and articles that extol the virtues of women that they're implying that all men are somehow oppressive, evil, and unworthy of the same happiness and freedom women are encouraged to pursue. But maybe that's just my perception.

[auriam.livejournal.com]

...however, the link you posted shows none of that, it just encourages women to feel good about themselves and not succumb to society and the media's ideal of beauty, and condemn themselves for not living up to it. I'm certainly in favor of women feeling good about their bodies and their self-images, whoever they are and whatever they look like. Most of the females I find attractive aren't very attractive in the conventional sense, physically, but they have interesting minds.

[gesundyke]

I did this.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I know, I saw. :)

[freya-chris.livejournal.com]

I have stood on both sides of this coin. As a femme growing up in the late 70's with parents who barely fell out of the 50's (but not the Wally Cleaver version, more like the Mommy Dearest version?), as a child I was always told, "lose weight, wear more make-up, why do you read so much, you shouldn't show you are smarter than a man, if you want to be married and happy, why should we waste money paying for you to go to college-you are just a dumb girl?" Like marriage was the only road to happiness for a woman. So, what do I do? I go join the Marines. For ten years, I could shout at the top of my lungs, and if a woman was within the sound of my voice, I scarcely knew it. The Marines was a liberating experience for me. It didn't matter if I was pretty. It didn't matter if I walked out of the house with make-up on or not. What mattered was if I could keep up with my Marines. What mattered was if I had the juevos to shoot to kill if the situation came to it. What mattered was if I could do my job, or if I constantly had to call for help? What mattered was respect, and trust. What mattered was if I could be trusted. What mattered was what I was made of, on the inside, not what I let you see, on the outside. And somewhere, admist this utopia in my mind, I found love, and married, and had a child, and lost that love in a way I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Spending the last 16 years as a single mom, taking the role of both Mom and Dad, I have more often felt the pressure that Auriam and Wolven tend to classify as "male" pressures, than anything that even resembles those feminine pressures. I think our society, as more and more people find that marriage isn't always the road to happiness, and people are killed in wars, and terrible tragedies befall the average family every day, (or perhaps just as the pretty face in the crowd ages and has to fend for herself) tends to care more about whether we "poop or get off the pot" than how we look doing it...And yet, the pressure we place on our kids is mind-numbing. My son is pretty well-centered in who he is, and where he is going in his life, but there is so much need to compete. On this account, I can relate to what Auriam is saying. I feel like my son always feels pressure to be and do more, every day. Fortunately, right now, he is enjoying every minute of it--he always knows he doesn't always have to push himself--I have tried to build that safeguard into his psyche, but I can't imagine the pressure. I have an immense respect for my teenager just because I know how much he does deal with. He wrote a poem at the beginning of the school year, called, "The Things I Carry", and it was largely about what he felt his responsibilities were, to his family, his school, his friends, even his country and his community. I cried when I read it. Leave it to me, just a silly girl, under the tough act.

[freya-chris.livejournal.com]

OK, guys, don't ask me how you stand on both sides of a coin...sometimes my fingers start talking and I have no clue what the heck I am saying...

[freya-chris.livejournal.com]

OH, and I don't think all men are "somehow oppressive, evil, and unworthy of the same happiness and freedom women are encouraged to pursue". Just 70% of them...and I am fly paper for most of the freaks...LOL There are decent guys out there...somewhere...who aren't afraid of being real...I suspect any male who is even contemplating such issues has a good potential of being worthy of all the "same happiness and freedom." So kudos to yourselves, guys--you are enlightened...