Further considerations

[wolven7]

The Little Willies - [Love Me]--- I thought the discussion was over, but I've still got this feeling, in my head, Like I haven't said something as perfectly as possible. If that's the case, then I don't think the buzzing will ever go away, but never mind that, now. Right now it works like this:

There is something inside every one of you that asks you to let it free, that begs to be loosed upon the world, to cut creamate, destroy and cry havoc, as they say. What, I wonder, would it take for you to let it? What are your limits, and your lines? What things would have to become broken in and around you, before you stopped crying, stopped circling yourself, and reached into the throat of the nearest itteration of the universe and began slowly turning it inside out?

Madness - [Shut Up]--- Cruel, i know. Disgusting and disturbing, and not at all as subtle as you would like, yes? But I ask because I feel it important for everyone to know their limits, know their lines. Know the walls of your labyrinth. There it is, again, isn't it? What does it take, what would it take, for you to snap, and start (we'll tone it down) smoking again? Drinking again? Shooting up again? Hurting people, again? (Cibo Matto - [Spoon]). What is that limit? How broken do you have to be, before you start crushing the pieces into a fine powder and snorting them?

I always think I know my lines, my limits, but every time I think I'm approaching them, they seem a little further away, a little more insubstantial-- a shrubbery maze, rather than the hall of mirrors. (Haujobb - [Sect 1 S-W]). I think that we can take a look back to what I've previously said about limits (they exist to give form and space, and ultimately to be broken) but we can then expand upon that. (Orchestre de la Suisse Romande - [Nocehes en los Jardines de España: 2. Satz: Danza Lejana]). Our limits are there to define us, shape us, show us to the world, in a way that we can comprehend, for we are vast and contain multitudes. Our sensorium (I like that word, tonight) is as infinite as the cosmos in which it exists, and let us save the debate on infinity, for some other time, okay? For now we just posit that, no matter how infinite reality, our experience of it can be just as much so.

Your tastes and touches and hearings and smells all encompass a small part of that which is, is not, will be, and never. You dream this place, and we agree that certain things are real. But how real? What "actually" happens? What is the "correct" thing? Shades of perception and recollection tell different stories, even among the thing's remembrance of itself. Every perspective is an aspect of the whole. (Ego Likeness - [I Live on Whats Left]). Perhaps we cannot see the contravening evidence, simply because we've trained ourselves to exclude it, at the outset. I don't know. I'm not yet a doctor.

I'm losing coherence, again (if I ever had it, to begin [so many parentheticals, tonight])... It breaks down like this: The limitations you think you have are further away than you thought they were. But they are there. You are stronger than you think. But you have weaknesses. For every place that you armour and strengthen, something else goes unprotected, neglected, and you will find yourself with new soft places, ripe for the sticking. And this is how you learn. You heal, you get stronger, but you must remain flexible, accessible.

Rasputina - [All Tomorrow's Parties (Velvet Underground Cover)]--- Vulnerability is a strength in its own right, and an armoured heart a weakness. You will always be fundamentally incomplete, for as long as you exist, in this world, even as a memory. Especially.

You are not bound where you think you are.

Comments

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

There is something inside every one of you that asks you to let it free, that begs to be loosed upon the world, to cut creamate, destroy amd cry havoc, as they say. What, I wonder, would it tak for you to let it? What are your limits, and your lines? What things would have to become broken in, and around you, before you stopped crying, stopped circling yourself, and reached into the throat of the nearest itteration of the universe and began slowly turning it inside out?

I probably would have a while ago, had I the ability.

Maybe more on this later. I am not in the right headspace to respond constructively or usefully.

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

uuuhh... ok, what's step two?

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You mean the part where you Pick Yourself Up And Rebuild? Yeah, kind of hard to teach other people something that no one can teach them but themselves. But that's what I'm traficking in, here: paradox.

You look at the pieces around you, grind them into a powder, piss on that powder, light it on fire, vomit on the ashes, and use the past and chunks to cobble something new together.

You hit the wall, break down the wall, lose yourself, find yourself, rebuild your shelter, and move on, until they get too tight, again. It's called growth.

[sadistic-apollo.livejournal.com]

i meant after we set our definitions.

I built myself outta the parts of my parents that i found most admirable and most useful. sure I'll grow and change and assimiliate as I'm exposed to more diverse people, but the core is solid.

so what happens (for people in general) after we get all squared (or sphered or cubed or quanted or quarked) away?

[misanthropic1.livejournal.com]

so what happens (for people in general) after we get all squared (or sphered or cubed or quanted or quarked) away?

be a bit like a Saw movie at that point i guess ;)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Ah. I believe that's up to the individual. I'd like to see a pattern of growth and change continue into each next generation, within the current generation.

Shit, at least I'd like some better music.

[misanthropic1.livejournal.com]

over the last 10 years, several times over i have, in one fell swoop, lost everything i cared about on any level, everyone i loved, plus my physical health. let me just say that again: this has happened several times - the whole lot at once. backed into a corner with no escape type stuff.

so, in answer to your above question: already been there... and if it wasn't so hard to get away with it, i would be pretty much surrounded by dead bodies. the law of the land sucks, it should still be an eye for an eye... a tooth for a tooth... etc.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

It does suck, pretty bad, but my point is that you managed it. Several times.

The demons in the dark

[raidingparty.livejournal.com]

are me.

Re: The demons in the dark

[wolven.livejournal.com]

See post following this one.