"'This shit just got real.'"

[wolven7]

Nine Inch Nails - [Survivalism]--- So I've got an offer of aid, for the summer. I think. (Nine Inch Nails - [The Good Soldier]). Unless this thing was sent to some new D. Williams in the department, and not my misspelled e-mail addy. Which, I guess, is possible. It's not much, but it'll help.

I also got a Financial Aid offer of $8,500 in subsidized loans. As my mother rightly noted, that's nearly two semesters in the Exeter program, regardless of what Some in the field have to say about their efficacy.

I am taking the money, and I am running. If, by 'running,' you mean 'doing my Thesis and Masters work to create so many stress fractures in this system that it comes apart like a block of marble, in a cartoon: Fully Formed Works of Art.'

Nine Inch Nails - [Vessel]--- I've been running a systems diagnostic sequence, on myself, starting today. I see myself as the central moving part-- the hamster in the wheel, if you will-- in a machine, and that machine is not working properly. It is locking up, and it is jittery, and it is making this terrible, blinding screechy noise. I need to figure out what I, hamster mechanic, extraordinare, can do to make this fucking thing work. I'm fixing this, now.

I've been kind of flaky, recently, with a few of you. I apologise for that. I'll try to be better, in the future.

Nine Inch Nails - [Me, I'm Not]--- But I'm working on it.

I'm considering the implications of the kind of Apocalyptic imagery and themes that have been making themselves apparent, since the ending of Diamond Age. By the way? I reitterate: 'Yes, please, now, please, rightaffuckingway, please.'

Anyway. Some of the things I've sought, and some have become known, after having been found. Others have merely tripped into the way.

I will make note, again, of the idea that synchronicity is not an acauseal process in the sense that most people think, when they don't initially know the word acausal, as well as they could. It's a process by which seeming unconnected things have a distinctly meaningful resonance, which can be traced along their paths or branches, back to the same Source Sound. (Nine Inch Nails - [Capital G]). The more you play the sympathetic sound, in answer to what you hear-- the more you go looking for the pieces of synchronicity, that is-- the more you will hear reverberations [(echoes)] of the same key.

They have a shared source, but they are not, themselves indicative of each other. If you think too long on what the pieces mean, in relation to each other-- what one note means to another, in the symphony-- you will have an interesting understanding, but you have the higher likelihood of never leaving the house and only always chasing echoes.

Nine Inch Nails - [My Violent Heart]--- Do you understand?

This is for you. This is.

You focus on what they are each examples of, not what they have to do with each other, because knowing which Type of which you are encountering Tokens will help you to better understand the overarching structure. (Nine Inch Nails - [The Warning]). The framework into which your logic rules, your programming language, your machine code, your maths, your DNA/mRNA sequencing, and/or your magic spells all fit.

I smell barbeque.

Comments

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Your hamster has been given speed. In the form of stress and perceived defeat. Careful with that.

If you've noticed, more and more, things work out after I try and Try, but don't worry about them. Constant thought can only nullify and sabotage anything productive you do and send the monkey mind jibbering instead of you doing something useful and maintaining control.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

If I don't think about it, at this stage, I have the feeling that it'll spin out from under me, with little provocation.

But if I think about it, too much, all there is is quanta. Tiny details, wonderful, but hard to make relate to macro.

H\m.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Never said to Not think about it. Just don't overdo it.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Ah. Fair enough.