"Brothers and lovers she and I were. . ." Magic, Impossible possibilities and relations.

[wolven7]

Tori Amos - [Bells for Her]--- This name will probably mean nothing to all of you, but I saw Betsy, today. I haven't seen her in at least 4 years... One of those people who was friends with... acquaintences who later want to be friends, or at least act as such, when they see... Well. Whatever.

Nine Inch Nails - [Terrible Lie]--- In any event, I saw her, today, and a spell solidified. Those of you not interested in magical practice or theory can stop reading... Now.

I've been thinking, for the past several days, about a spell whose components are tatters of the past and fragments of missed and misapprehended opportunities, but I couldn't figure out what kind of spell it was, until, now. It is a spell to better apprehend future opportunities. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I had a severe crush on Betsy, at one time, having just come out of a relationship, at that time, but I got over that, a while ago. (Curve - [Perish]). But like Johnny Truant, I don't think I'm ever really free of the way people made me feel. I think a very small part of that's mine, forever, want it, or no. It's that initial twinge, when you see someone, and it's there...

But the point is this: Take two fragments of missed and misapprehended opportunities (a letter from/to an unrequited interest, a flower petal, a piece of jewelry) and combine them with a piece of something irrevocably lost (a childhood illusion, an idea, a picture with a friend, now lost), and destroy them, together, if they're destrctable (and everything is, if you try hard enough).

Tori Amos - [Way Down]--- Take the ashes, pieces, powder, slag, or whatever residue is left, and place it in the palm of your left hand, while contemplating future paths, plans, and/or who you are and want to be (For a more visceral internalisation of the process, combine the remains into a paste and place into the palms of the hands, in whatever forms have greatest emotional, mental, intellectual, or professional significance to you.). (The Dresden Dolls - [Half Jack (Live)]). Take remains and bury, throw into the sea, burn, or scatter to wind, as appropriate. Having intrenalised the past while contemplating the present, and planing the future, all paths will become more clear.

This is the first "Spell" I've ever composed, you know? The majority of magical practice I've ever done has been in such a way that it's the brute movement of will and world, against or with one another. I figured I should take a crack a formalised endeavour.

Also, think about the fact that magic is an act of will, of working in concerted tension with existence, as a harp, or a bow, or your muscles, or the geosystem, or ecosystem... (Nine Inch Nails - [Head Like a Hole]). Certain ways use more or merely different words, than others, to capture it.

There was something else that flashed in my head, something else of Heraclitus, and the meaning of tension, release, and action, but it's gone, now.... If i remember it, I'll tell you... Something about the systems themselves needing to work in concert, the context and framework of a thing being the latice on which we build, or the trellis on which we grow the roses, or whatever the fucking thing... Ah well.

Anyway, there it is. A spell, for you, with the usual caveats and so forth. At least 3 of you now probably think I'm completely batshit insane, and I can respect that, but remember this: I never hid things from you, about what I thought, felt or believed. My magical practices and theories are there for everyone to see, come what may, as your thoughts and feelings should be able to be.

A Clockwork Orange - [Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, Second Movement - Abridged]-- It's called integrity. Everyone has it, everyone should try it.

Later.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I love reading your journal.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Who's this? I know where you're routing through, but that only narrows down so much, you know?

[arktoi.livejournal.com]

I didn't want you to be weirded out by someone you didn't know commenting in your journal like that. Plus, I have no idea if you think I'm crazy or not. Hence the anonymity.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

No, it's fine. I appreciate honesty, openness.

I don't know enough about you to make a judgment on your sanity, but I'd wager you were at least interestingly crazed, if at all.

[arktoi.livejournal.com]

Haha, well I'm glad, because I think you're a fascinating individual, even if the majority of stuff you talk about goes waaaaaaay over my head. It's still fun to read.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well thank you.

I think the only way to deal with things over your head is to dive down as far as you can, and swim until you're comfortable.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

That...is a beautiful and somewhat sad Work, dear. Or maybe it's me reading that into it, hearing the Cranes, here at work.

It also reminds me of something I was going to write. I was flipping through a book about chaos theory, and (mis?)saw the words 'Iterative magic'. Ideas ran from there about unfolding intent from something tiny into something enormous and unable to be ignored.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Iterative magic sounds.... PERFECT... Too many thoughts.. You need to write that, soon, so I can work with it, too.

And yeah, it is sad work; like any process of growth, I think it has to hurt a little bit.

[ranmasal.livejournal.com]

Nicely put man... I, for one being who I am, do not think you're batshit. I do, however, believe that you are a bit inacurate in this being your first formal bit of magic, or spell, or whatever. I'm sure as a kid you did other things, be it chants or "spells" or whatever before this without knowing or concidering it to me magical. First conscience Adult magic working? Anyways man, bravo for having the balls (will) to do it, and kudos for writing it down in this journal... Make sure to put it, in greater detail, in a written journal, or book of shadow, or waffle house napkin, or bottom of a pizza box... anything really. Use a pen you normally wouldn't use, and think on the feelings and emotions of that "twinge" and the feeling of release afterwards... jot that down as well. Small short meditation is also good. The more personal energy you put into it, the more useful of a tool it can be in the future. If you're anything like me, then this is something I know you'll use over and over again.

Congrats man. Glad to see you growing physically, mentally, and spiritually in leaps and bounds... or if you think I'm batshit, ignore this all and carry on.

Kudos on the support

[teididh.livejournal.com]

Not first adult working; I can vouch for this one.

He was active (in a passive-ish way) way back in his spiritual infancy when I had the honour of lending him the space under my bed in which to hide.

Re: Kudos on the support

[teididh.livejournal.com]

Waffle House napkin...hehe, there's some memories...

Re: Kudos on the support

[wolven.livejournal.com]

3 am coffee shops are always places of power to someone.

Re: Kudos on the support

[wolven.livejournal.com]

The difference being the level of activity, and intent, rather than simply wanting something, and nudging it to happen.

I love brute force will working, but I should probably have a wider repetoire.

Re: Kudos on the support

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Style and finesse work too. Simply beating on the universe doesn't always work, or even do anything except piss it off. Aikido-ing it into where you want it sometimes requires a bit of planning and props.

Re: Kudos on the support

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Getting things where you need them to be, so that the game you're running pulls off perfectly...

I think i fully understand, now, how Constantine's magic is supposed to work. And considering who created him, I shouldn't be (and am not really) surprised.

Re: Kudos on the support

[ranmasal.livejournal.com]

Props, by and large, are not really needed to sway the universe one way or another... that is unless (in this case especially) it needs to be attatched to something and fueled by emotion... but even then props, tools, circle, all that stuff is used to place the person performing into that hightened state of awareness and above all the mundane things holding them back to hone the focus, intent, emotion, will, secrecy, et al ed nausium so said person can really figure out what it is that is needed to be done and get the messege across the way they want to and attract the desired energy, project the desired picture, and finally recieve the wanted outcome. You have my 100% vote on preperation though. Doing shit out of only emotion is NOT the best way to get what you want done, done.

Re: Kudos on the support

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Um. Dood. Just because I'm not an initiate in your group, doesn't mean I have no idea what I'm talking about. If you meant nothing by this, then apologies, but I'm not a bloody outsider, nor did I Just start this stuff when I moved here or even when I met D.

Re: Kudos on the support

[ranmasal.livejournal.com]

TLC has a life lesson about merlot and blogging.

I KNOW you KNOW more then you think I thought you did when I posted that... I like posting for the general masses, and you never know who might read D's blog, so why not make it interesting AND informative. Wish people would stop jumping other people's shit when they feel threatened or insulted.

Re: Kudos on the support

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Ho-Kay. I'm going to jump in, here, before things get... Unpleasant. No, I'm not fighting anyone's battles, or taking sides.

I'm Doing Precisely Not That.

Dropping, now.

Re: Kudos on the support

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

Only because you said it nicely.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

As I said, there are too many gradients between written spell and force of will to really say that what came before was anything more than a loose intent focus.

This is the most structure (posture, intent, components, etc.) I've ever given this kind of thing, aside from a few lines, written to focus. I mean, all spells are that, at some level, obviously, but I think you see my distinction.

[cailement.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, rituals. Tasty. Just because I don't like 'em, doesn't mean they're not useful.

I would like to use this time to quote a show on Nick that is much better than it should be.

"thank you The Universe"

I feel that way every time I do magic.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Very useful, sometimes, if a pain in the ass.