A little something from yesterday.
Jul. 10th, 2002 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven707.09.02-- When I was little-- maybe six or eight years old-- someone threw a riddle at me. The riddle began "There is a penny in the corner of a round room," and gave you all sorts of extraneous information to distract you from the fact that round rooms don't have corners (Philosophically, i have since, learned to prove otherwise). The final question is "Who placed the penny in the corner?" Rather juvenile riddle, as i was in first or 3rd grade. Now, when i first heard this, my immediate response, to myself, was "Round rooms have no corners. They're round." But i went about trying to figure it out, anyway. I figured that there had to be some other answer, or why go through all the trouble and circumlocution? Why would a friend do that to me? So i continued on, trying to figure it out.
Five minutes later, my friend says "Do you give up?" and i, of course, having not found the answer, said "yeah." He gave me the inevitable answer, and reminded me of there very first sentence, as if i had forgotten it. I said "Dang, man!" and walked away. On a subconscious level, this has always been with me, motivating me towards certain actions. I've always had a pre-/semiconscious drive to outwit and/or be more clever than those around me, and this is only one of the many reasons, or catalysts, for it. With this has remained the more important drive to find the answer to the question "Why would a friend go through all that circuitousness?"
I've never really liked mind games, but i've forced myself to become good at them. I've never understood why people can't simply let me be, until i change, and be straight-forward, with me. <.Whine> Why can't things do what i want?<./whine>
This episode of "The Formative Years" brought to you by "Wolven's Fucked Up Memories."
"Wolven's Fucked Up Memories: Damn... That's Fucked Up..."
Five minutes later, my friend says "Do you give up?" and i, of course, having not found the answer, said "yeah." He gave me the inevitable answer, and reminded me of there very first sentence, as if i had forgotten it. I said "Dang, man!" and walked away. On a subconscious level, this has always been with me, motivating me towards certain actions. I've always had a pre-/semiconscious drive to outwit and/or be more clever than those around me, and this is only one of the many reasons, or catalysts, for it. With this has remained the more important drive to find the answer to the question "Why would a friend go through all that circuitousness?"
I've never really liked mind games, but i've forced myself to become good at them. I've never understood why people can't simply let me be, until i change, and be straight-forward, with me. <.Whine> Why can't things do what i want?<./whine>
This episode of "The Formative Years" brought to you by "Wolven's Fucked Up Memories."
"Wolven's Fucked Up Memories: Damn... That's Fucked Up..."
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no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 02:41 pm (UTC)Hmm
Re: Hmm
Date: 2002-07-11 11:13 am (UTC)Re: Hmm
Date: 2002-07-11 10:46 pm (UTC)Turning out like him?
-The MEchanical One, XD
Re: Turning out like him?
Date: 2002-07-12 07:35 pm (UTC)Re: Hmm
Date: 2002-07-12 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-10 06:48 pm (UTC)It's really interesting how one little action or question given us when we are very young can catalyze a whole chain of things that continue into our actions so much later...
The same kind of thing happened when i was like 9 or 10 and some confused bitch of a little girl asked me out of the blue if i believed in god....and when i couldn't answer the way she wanted me to, she dug into me with the knife of her words...it hurt like hell at the time but it drove me to explore spirituality and myself like nothing else could ever have....and now as i look back, i have to thank her for it...the whole thing seems bizarre now...
She also was one who played mind-games on me...and i hate them as much as you do...and to think of all the people who have used them on me makes me shudder at the thought of using them on anyone else...it is very sad how this society seems to be built on them. :-/ The best thing i've found i can do is surround myself with people who don't use them, or at least despise them as much as i do...but it is very hard to avoid sometimes. :-( I'm sorry you have to encounter them as much as you do. *hugz
-Sister Anonymou
Hmm..
Date: 2002-07-10 10:21 pm (UTC)-The Mechanical One, taking the Third road