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wolven7So, i'm home... People ended up pissing me off, today. There's this low-lying sense of Dread, running through me, today, for some reason (tomorrow's the Fourth), and one of my roommates is getting on my case about petty shit. I don't Need this, right now... I have family making travel plans, tomorrow, and i'm already a paranoid sumbitch... So i'm a little jittery, and a little annoyed.
i have this odd feeling like i would feel a lot better if i could simply WRITE, you know? Like i could get it all out, and i could have it down, and not worry about it, and there would be this concrete reminder of things, and i would FEEL Better. But i can't get it out... i'm sitting here, and i'm making up excuses, for myself. "It's the wrong atmosphere;" "There's too many people, here;" &c., &c. But it's only excuses. i'm just making shit up, so i don't have to let it go. Because deep down, inside, i enjoy the seething rage. The universe knows this, and it gives me more fuel, all the time. So, here: A Query:
Do you ever have those people you simply want to Kill? People you go through the trouble of considering your friends, and, wanting to talk to them, or,perhaps, email? Someething more than the hum-drum, day to day shite, becvause you, for some FUCKED UP REASON, find them incredibly cool? And they don't? Because thy obviously think you suck? Or so your low self-esteem tells you? So that was several queries. So what? You get the gist. Fucker. So let's try this one: You ever try to talk to people you considered friends-- or, at the very least, good acquaintances-- and you were talking, and talking, and then they were gone? Not so much as a "goodbye," or a "Later." Simply gone. Does that ever add up, with all the other shit that's gone on, in the past few minutes of your life, and make you want to KILL Everyone? Ah well. That's ok. 'Cause, directly after that, someone you haven't seen in months will show up and take an extreme interest in your life. And all of this, while you're watching "MOMENTO"! Fuck. Ass.
I'm really trying to get this shit out... I've got a alot of pent up frustrations,a nd anger, and... stuff.. right now, and it needs out. I need to write, i need to talk, i need to yell, howl, scream, rage against the dying of the light, SOMEthing! ANYTHING! FUCK! There'll be no shelter here, because, all around me, there are people who want my energy, my light, But in no direct rroute do they travel, noo. They cannot simply ask of it. They must poke, and prode and tickle, and trigger. They must annoy and subconsciously suck at the satisfying sludge they help to produce, and This is your product!! This is the waste by product of the vile filth you put into the world as Society, or Civility! Fuck you. You don't know. If you know, you don't care. Fuck you. I love you.
Dream Well, for now.
i have this odd feeling like i would feel a lot better if i could simply WRITE, you know? Like i could get it all out, and i could have it down, and not worry about it, and there would be this concrete reminder of things, and i would FEEL Better. But i can't get it out... i'm sitting here, and i'm making up excuses, for myself. "It's the wrong atmosphere;" "There's too many people, here;" &c., &c. But it's only excuses. i'm just making shit up, so i don't have to let it go. Because deep down, inside, i enjoy the seething rage. The universe knows this, and it gives me more fuel, all the time. So, here: A Query:
Do you ever have those people you simply want to Kill? People you go through the trouble of considering your friends, and, wanting to talk to them, or,perhaps, email? Someething more than the hum-drum, day to day shite, becvause you, for some FUCKED UP REASON, find them incredibly cool? And they don't? Because thy obviously think you suck? Or so your low self-esteem tells you? So that was several queries. So what? You get the gist. Fucker. So let's try this one: You ever try to talk to people you considered friends-- or, at the very least, good acquaintances-- and you were talking, and talking, and then they were gone? Not so much as a "goodbye," or a "Later." Simply gone. Does that ever add up, with all the other shit that's gone on, in the past few minutes of your life, and make you want to KILL Everyone? Ah well. That's ok. 'Cause, directly after that, someone you haven't seen in months will show up and take an extreme interest in your life. And all of this, while you're watching "MOMENTO"! Fuck. Ass.
I'm really trying to get this shit out... I've got a alot of pent up frustrations,a nd anger, and... stuff.. right now, and it needs out. I need to write, i need to talk, i need to yell, howl, scream, rage against the dying of the light, SOMEthing! ANYTHING! FUCK! There'll be no shelter here, because, all around me, there are people who want my energy, my light, But in no direct rroute do they travel, noo. They cannot simply ask of it. They must poke, and prode and tickle, and trigger. They must annoy and subconsciously suck at the satisfying sludge they help to produce, and This is your product!! This is the waste by product of the vile filth you put into the world as Society, or Civility! Fuck you. You don't know. If you know, you don't care. Fuck you. I love you.
Dream Well, for now.
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"Sharing in an agreed madness with your fellas don't make ya crazy, it makes the WORLD crazy."
The quote occurred to me, reading your post about impending 4th-o-July DOOM. I felt it too.
As for talking, well...yeah, we need to. Send me e-mail. We do the talking thing there. Can't install new programs on moms' machines (i.e., IRC).