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wolven7Razed In Black - [Nightmare]--- First off: Happy birthday, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
paosparti.
As for the rest, Today feels like fall, in that I want to tear and rend things, and hunt, a lot. Burn things, and cut. Hands on a throat, well done work accomplished. But maybe that's just me, being me.
How other people see me is part of what makes it hard for me to quit smoking. Everyone who knows me, in this era of my life, (ie Georgia), knows me as a smoker. Correction: Everyone who Still knows me, in this era. (Mindless Self Indulgence - [Harry Truman]). Those who knew me in Inman Middle school don't still know me. Either by my opwn fault, or theirs, we have fallen out of each others' lives. But I digress. Those who have met me have met me as a smoker. I can't address a pack of cigarettes, or someone with a pack of cigarettes, with out someone thinking that I want one. (Pop Will Eat Itself - [Everything's Cool]). This is one of the things that gets exponentially worse, in the fall, as I've always regarded this as a burning season. I always struggle with this, most, in the fall. I'm most annoyingly vocal about it, this time of year.
I try not to let it get to me, not to let how other people think of, believe in, or conceive of me to affect what I actually do and am, but I exists, just as the rest of you do. I exist, and those things have a certain amount of power over me. Think of it like an X, Y, and Z graph; three dimensional-like. There is a place at which my base nature, your thoughs of me, and my thoughs of me intersect, and that can cover more or less space, depending on the extent to which I let any one of those factors dictate where the lines are plotted, ya dig?
Snake River Conspiracy - [Somebody Hates You]--- Cones, rods, columns, cubes, spheres of influence. My point is that, certain combinations cause negative interactions, within the context of my wants, and it takes me a little more work to fix it, in those situations, than otherwise. I feel simultaneously more and less powerful in the fall. Autumn.
The quote(s) from Shadow, at the Climax of American Gods, is stuck in my head.
Later
paosparti.As for the rest, Today feels like fall, in that I want to tear and rend things, and hunt, a lot. Burn things, and cut. Hands on a throat, well done work accomplished. But maybe that's just me, being me.
How other people see me is part of what makes it hard for me to quit smoking. Everyone who knows me, in this era of my life, (ie Georgia), knows me as a smoker. Correction: Everyone who Still knows me, in this era. (Mindless Self Indulgence - [Harry Truman]). Those who knew me in Inman Middle school don't still know me. Either by my opwn fault, or theirs, we have fallen out of each others' lives. But I digress. Those who have met me have met me as a smoker. I can't address a pack of cigarettes, or someone with a pack of cigarettes, with out someone thinking that I want one. (Pop Will Eat Itself - [Everything's Cool]). This is one of the things that gets exponentially worse, in the fall, as I've always regarded this as a burning season. I always struggle with this, most, in the fall. I'm most annoyingly vocal about it, this time of year.
I try not to let it get to me, not to let how other people think of, believe in, or conceive of me to affect what I actually do and am, but I exists, just as the rest of you do. I exist, and those things have a certain amount of power over me. Think of it like an X, Y, and Z graph; three dimensional-like. There is a place at which my base nature, your thoughs of me, and my thoughs of me intersect, and that can cover more or less space, depending on the extent to which I let any one of those factors dictate where the lines are plotted, ya dig?
Snake River Conspiracy - [Somebody Hates You]--- Cones, rods, columns, cubes, spheres of influence. My point is that, certain combinations cause negative interactions, within the context of my wants, and it takes me a little more work to fix it, in those situations, than otherwise. I feel simultaneously more and less powerful in the fall. Autumn.
The quote(s) from Shadow, at the Climax of American Gods, is stuck in my head.
Later
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Date: 2005-10-16 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-10-16 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2005-10-17 01:25 am (UTC)I'm coming to think the Hellblazer thing, and your connections there, don't help at all.
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And no, the HellBlazer thing doesn't help, a bit.
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Date: 2005-10-17 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
I try not to smoke around those whom I know it bothers.