Yep. Downish...

[wolven7]

Not feeling too well, physically or mentally. Probably something to do with being in the heat, today. And having a weird conversation with someone, who heard of me, though someone else.

I've felt off, ever since that little fiasco, the other day, resulting in 39 comments, a personal record for any lj entry of mine... Most of them hostile. It was a big, horrible thing, and there were... Well let's put it this way, i don't like being intruded upon, and poked at. Yeah, there are better reactions than "Back the fuck off, this is my house," but i am a Territorial Person, in many certain respects. It's a bad impression to make on someone who only recently shows up, but... Shit. That's Me. I am an angry, arrogant person, vehemently displeased with the state of society, and the world. For someone to come to what is basically My Space, and try to... criticize, refine, judge, Whatever, my works, as an introductory action? That, to me, is an act of Disrespect.

Again, no, responding in a manner that my instigate further disrespect is not advisable, but that's what happened. And i keep doubting myself, on this. Was i wrong to defend myself, in that manner? Was i just as rude and disrespectful as i accused others of being? Ultimately, questions only i can answer for myself.

Just a note, however, before moving on: Don't go into someone else's forum and mental context, thinking that you know better than they, how to complete their plans, understandings, and paradigms. Suggestions and Criticisms/Villifications are very different things. And it's always better to approach Me, at least, with questions first, if you don't understand something. I'm always more amiable to questions first. And yeah, that's an arrogant thing to suggest, that people approach me, in my journal, on terms which are amenable, or at least sympathetic to what i consider respectable...

No... Wait... That's courtesy...

Meh.

Comments

[momentai.livejournal.com]

I thought that you encouraged discussion, especially discussion of your ideas. I guess I didn't relaize that there was hostility at that time, which probably stems from the fact that I was a spectator and not on either side of hostilities.

Hmm, strange leaving the same situation with very different characterzations.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Maybe. As i said. Second Guessing myself, on that score, you know? Maybe it was all utterly justified. Who knows, anymore. Fuckit. Just wanted to say that, for clarity's sake.

[ellenore.livejournal.com]

Hey.


I'm not sure what you're going through, but I can give you online cheesy hugs if it helps. OK?

*hugs*

[wolven.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you. Just trying to... Get my head together, as it were.

...

[mahajarabali.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is your house. This is your house, unlocked. Your house, with the doors wide open in a public forum for anybody to read and respond to. If you want to change that and make it a truly private forum, you have your choices. Or you can continue to leave your house unlocked and open for anybody to comment, even those you will not agree with.

I agree that he came on strongly, and I am not criticising your actions here. But I do feel obligated - as a friend - to point out that I know of at least one other person who found you and posted something inocuous and now thinks of you as "hostile." Xie didn't even presume to criticise anything; xie is the most diplomatic person I know. And Xie is very discouraged from sharing with you now.

You acknowledge you are all these things, and yet the repurcussions of such actions bother you. I dunno. I personally have no trouble approaching you, because I'm going to tell you like it is. And that's how we are down here.

What's more, I'll tell you to fuck off eventually if I am pushed too hard. Somehow, I suspect you are the same way.

Either folks can be open-minded about the subtle differences in culture from one locale to the next and the problems it can cause, or folks can shut themselves away in a little box and refuse to grow. I dunno. That's not my call.

Momentai is correct. You did encourage discussion. You tried. Everybody tried. And I can't help but notice a note of bewilderment in his responding posts, beyond the hurt feelings. And that's how I see what happened, and nothing more.

In other words, everybody was in the wrong! Everybody!!! *froth* ;-) Now, my opinion doesn't count, and I acknoledge freely that half of what I'm saying is being supplied by that other tiny person who lurks around me. So I've no clue to her point.

What *I* wanted to say in a much shorter way was: this is your house, and your view of courtesy is dictated by your personal paradigm. If you truly are an arrogant asshole, then the whole incident wouldn't be bothering you at all. And since it is, I doubt you're that bad after all.

[fire-furae.livejournal.com]

it is interesting how it oscillates from adoration to denunciation with you

ps sorry for the stress, much love from this coast

Re: ...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Well, quite honestly, the last person to simply come in here, and leave a comment, did it in a VERY rude manner, and refused to tell me who they were. So i feel no obligations to unreasonable cowards.

I have, among other things, not been doing very well at relating to poeople, these past few months. That's not an excuse, merely statement of fact.

There are many levels and grades of amount to everything.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

In terms of myself, yeah, i have a massive Superiority/Inferiority Paradox. One of many, for good or ill. In terms of others, not me... I see a litterally infinite potential, and much in the way of wasting it.

I also need to continually remember something about infinity: I like infinity, but that doesn't mean i'll like all of its infinite permutations. I will not get along with everyone. Paradox, again.

Thank you for the support. :)

[renatus.livejournal.com]

Even though, yes, the entry was public, you're right, this is your territory. I didn't read much of that thread, but the attitude shown by the newcomer was rather shocking to me. It was, quite simply, rude.

It wasn't that they disagreed; it was the attitude in which the disagreement was portrayed. It is quite possible to disagree respectfully, and the best policy when visiting someone else's turf.

I liken it to this: If I had a bit of nice land where I would let anyone visit if they so chose, I would be understandably upset if people came through stomping on flowers and ripping up grass, basically taking advantage of my hospitality. This is where I find spearcarrier's assertation that your journal is a public forum faulty; A public forum, like a community, is not only open to the public, but in a way ruled and owned by that public - like a public park. A personal journal is like that privately owned bit of land, which is allowed to others by the grace of the owner.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Interesting way to put it. Hadn't been able to articulate it, that way, before.

Danke.

[unknownbinaries.livejournal.com]

That was a narsty mess, but I also seem to remember some good points made, somewhere in that crossfire, by all parties involved. I say take it for what it was worth and move on, love. (And everyone else getting panties in a bunch. ^_^)

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well. Just bothersome, you know? Meh. Trying not to let it get to me, at all.

[tribeofone.livejournal.com]

I get the feeling I missed something, well then I obviously didn't need to be involved.....hmm, now I have to go figure out what.

[renatus.livejournal.com]

Happy to provide. n_n

[wolven.livejournal.com]

You didn't miss it. In fact you just commented on it. Not the Badness, as it were, but the source thereof.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

^_^

...

[mahajarabali.livejournal.com]

Why not just screen your comments?

Re: ...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Because, as has been noted, this is a semi-open forum, and i'm not the Thought Police. Even interactions that affect us badly, can teach us lessons, and there's the chance that a simple screen/delete/ignore policy will only make things worse. If i respond, even in a violent-ish way, there's that much more of a chance that something can be resolved.

It's in an effort to, again, show instead of Tell. If i show, with others, the kind of beneficial things that can happen, when mutual levels of differently shown respect are engaged and/or explained, then maybe more people will take note.

STFU!1!!

[(Anonymous)]

U R A TOT4L Wh0r3m0nk3y, U stup1d...

...

Ow. Damn. That joke was going so well, but it really HURTS to write that badly.
-Sylphiel

Territory

[karishi.livejournal.com]

There's grey area. The analogy to a plot of land is...an analogy. People have been making rules regarding their land-space, for as long as we've had a concept of ownership. Net-space is still so young that people have heavily conflicting views on what to set as "default procedure;" was it your space or public forum? Decorum changes based on which, so the answer "both," even if True, is yet a tad unsatisfactory. There is no "statement of purpose" line in LJ, and people use it for all kinds of things. If he thought you were making an argument, then, well, the argument was weak here, here, and here. It would be courtesy to show them to you, to help you understand and hone your argument.
That's my understanding of where the wires crossed. Anybody with more/better information, please correct me. I'd like a bit of resolution, if only in the form of understanding where the conflict originated. Perhaps I'm just an idealist.

Re: Territory

[wolven.livejournal.com]

No, true and utter courtesy would be answering any questions i'd actually poesed, or, perhaps, asking if i actaully wanted any "Advice."

Because if and when i do, i promise i'll ask for it.

Re: STFU!1!!

[wolven.livejournal.com]

At least you Sign yours, and have from the beginning. Right bastard, though you may be. :P