Something strange just hit me... And everything fell into a motherboard/city/web pattern, and clicked into a place that was completely understandable. For the past four minutes, Everything has been Deja Vu. Everything. It's about Circuits and Weavers and Webs, and wonderful. It's there. Not to be seen, not to be "known," not the "Future," and not Destiny. It's, of course, about Will. About want, and desire, and choice, and the drive to remember the internal fire that it all means. That means it all. It's... the meaning. You make the decision, and you do it.
I've been... having to talk to people, recently, about their problems, with striving forward. With putting one foot in front of the other, and walking up the mountain, to which they walked. Realising that the fact that we go on, one step after the other, is the point. And i wasn't taking my own advice; for a very long time, i wasn't. I'm working on changing that. I'm working on bringing that which i will and whimsy into actual being. And it's not just about concentration, and wanting it bad. That only gets you a fucking migrane, and enough synchronicity, conicidence, apophenianc delusional foder, to make you Nuts, wondering how it all links together.
...
You Do it. You figure out what it Is that you want, and what you need, and where you Want to go, and how you Want to get there, and you strive with every instance of your being, to make that happen. You bring it to life, and light, or darkness, whichever you need, and you gain Clarity, and Purpose. And you remind yourself. You learn. You tattoo it into your forebrain, and you fucking live it, every day of your life, so that you never forget, and neither does any one else, and gods, daemons, angels, saints, Anthropomorphic Personifications, Devils, and Culture Heros help anything that tries to fucking stand in your way.
Until you decide that it's time to change. And then you do. It's all the same. It's still all about the internal motivation.
Again, welcome to the Inside. The things some of you come here for, i guess. I hope it can mean something to you, too.
I'm taking what christmas money i get, and i'm saving up for a few tattoos. There's things i need.
strixus: *cocks her head to the side and regards you like a very large wolf who seems to be wearing black sun glasses*
wolven: Future's so brght... &c.
Dream Well
I've been... having to talk to people, recently, about their problems, with striving forward. With putting one foot in front of the other, and walking up the mountain, to which they walked. Realising that the fact that we go on, one step after the other, is the point. And i wasn't taking my own advice; for a very long time, i wasn't. I'm working on changing that. I'm working on bringing that which i will and whimsy into actual being. And it's not just about concentration, and wanting it bad. That only gets you a fucking migrane, and enough synchronicity, conicidence, apophenianc delusional foder, to make you Nuts, wondering how it all links together.
...
You Do it. You figure out what it Is that you want, and what you need, and where you Want to go, and how you Want to get there, and you strive with every instance of your being, to make that happen. You bring it to life, and light, or darkness, whichever you need, and you gain Clarity, and Purpose. And you remind yourself. You learn. You tattoo it into your forebrain, and you fucking live it, every day of your life, so that you never forget, and neither does any one else, and gods, daemons, angels, saints, Anthropomorphic Personifications, Devils, and Culture Heros help anything that tries to fucking stand in your way.
Until you decide that it's time to change. And then you do. It's all the same. It's still all about the internal motivation.
Again, welcome to the Inside. The things some of you come here for, i guess. I hope it can mean something to you, too.
I'm taking what christmas money i get, and i'm saving up for a few tattoos. There's things i need.
Dream Well
no subject
Date: 2003-12-18 09:43 pm (UTC)You......Are going to incite me to Burn Planets one of these days....This is Exactly what I needed to read/hear, I think.
Burn Galaxies to a Cinder.
Heheh. Good winamp.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Take it as whatever lessons you want, really, but take a lesson from it, somewhere.
That's what I say...
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Love you too, Jyn. And i Will, thanks.