wolven7 | Hates people, loves... Hating... people... ?

Covenant - [Like Tears In Rain]--- i'm beginning to feel, more and more, as if this were a horrid idea, this moving. I think that i may, in fact, regret it. It'll be the first regret i've had in a long time, so bully for me, on the new acquisition. My roommates... I honestly don't think they like me, very much, at all. And i don't think that they have the balls to simply say such, even though i've told them to, before. "If you have a problem with me, say something. I'll do what i can to fix it, or i'll remove myself from your sphere." How many times have those words left my mouth, and fingers? I've lost count, honestly. Problem is, no one takes it seriously.

MDFMK - [Witch Hunt]--- No one does this, when i ask it, unless i corner them and Force them, because they... i don't even Know. Something prevents it. Maybe they feel that i'm going to cause Drama, or trouble, or whatever the fuck. No, i'll leave you alone, as best is possible, taking into consideration all interweaving factors. I may be a tad upset about the nature of things, or what have you, but i'll take it in Stride, because i Asked. I Wanted to know. And so, instead, there is this pent up animosity, and aggresion, and things not Stated, and unclear, and Bullshit, which could be Very easily avoided. (Elbow - [Independent Woman]). And it's not. Because people are cowards? Because they're scared? Society Sucks? Whatever, who knows. Yeah, i do it, too, but i Try not to. I make the Concerted Effort not to hide things from people, because it doesn't get anything accomplished.

So, here i sit, in my brand new House, and i wait, and hide myself in my room, when the friends of others are over. (Oingo Boingo - [Reptiles and Samurai]). Because these people have all known each other for quite some time. Longer than i've known them, by a year or two, and it kiind of Happened, really, that i'm even in their circle. Last resort of my former apartment roommate (who is now one of my housemates), and the last resort of all of my current roommates. Because someone backed out, and no one else could be reached, in time. "Damn it. Wolven's the only one left... I Guess we should ask him." And so it was, that, because i couldn't find a place to live, myself, nor anyone to move into the former place, i am Here. Hooray. And i'm reminded of every other time i lived in a house, with people. Even those i knew well... New things are always discovered. Always. And that's a fine thing, i swear... Except when everyone gets Screwed out of a place to live... So, yes. There is that past set of lessons, to consider... And the resentment, on all sides, of course, in this new situation. Amazing, i sez. Amazing.

Nick Cave & Kate Bush - [Where The Wild Roses Grow]--- And maybe i'm wrong. Maybe it's all simply the beginnings of a new living arrangement, and things will work out, and people will know and respect each others' "rules," or whatever. Maybe that will happen. I hope that that happens. Otherwise, it's a year of Shite, to which i look forward. A year of hiding, and staying out, as much as possible, or in my own room, doing as Little as possible, to interact with those, around me. Because i find that infinitely preferable to dealing with people who don't want to be bothered with me, and don't have the balls to say anything about it. And didn't, before it got to this point.

Poe - [Spanish Doll]--- I'm doing my best to make sure that this doesn't become a "roommate meeting" thing, with me as either the wet ashes, or the Subject of it... The Hated Roommate. The one who lives on, in ignominy...

Whatever. It's all speculation, at this point, anyway. Happy Hunting.

Dream Well