wolven7 | Cynical

Ben Folds Five - [Battle of Who Could Care Less]--- I told Luke yesterday that, though i was pained to admit it, there's only so far the "I'm upset, in pain, and nobody loves me," as a Standard, is going to get you, in life. (Oingo Boingo - [Grey Matter]). I say this as "pained" because, as a whole, that used to be my entire Modus. I would calmly disect the reasons that nothing was going right, and i would, due to my contrary nature, cut down Any offered solution. I would rend it to shreds, logically, slowly. Piece by Piece. I still do this, sometimes. But it's all part of a larger Proces, for me, now... Anyway, i raise this point because roles seem to have reversed, of recent, between me, and the rest of the world.

None of this is bad, simply odd, but, recently, i've been offereing the more Positive side of the spectrum, as distinct possibilites. I am not, now, a Complete Optomist, because i crave dynamic balance, too much. I am-- i Strive to be-- a Realist. Looking at all of the options, and seeing what's possibly, probably, plausibly-but-needs-a-nudge {going to Happen}... That kind of thing. That said, i'm the kind of person to play My Advocate. (Poe - [Spanish Doll]). Offering the Other possibilities, opposite the ones currently most upheld. Making people plan for the worst, while hoping for the best. Having their Asses Covered, while leaving their Minds open, and other demi-clichés. But it's difficult. I know that it's difficult, because i used to be, and still am, when i hit a poor mood, on the Other side of the situation. Nothing will change, there, until the impetus is reached, inside, that something Should Change. And then, it's a matter of actually working with that, and so on, and so forth, and it's not an easy task, at all, especially when your mind is showing you, rapid-fire, all of the Shite, in your life, and the Things that Have to be Done.

Oingo Boingo - [Home Again]--- Really, things only get better when we come to the Conscious Decision to Make Them Better. And we work for it.. Blah blah blah, whatever. Sorry.. went more preachy than i meant.

Honestly, all i mean, here, is that a lot of people have been getting more and more cynical, around me, lately, and i find it strange-- yet Justified-- that i should be on the other side of the equation, in certain respects. That i am trying to show the Beneficial possibilities, to people (including myself) who are only seeing disaster, and ruin, ahead...

Dream Well