As we wind beneath the mountain....
Jul. 2nd, 2003 03:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7The Electric Hellfire Club - [The Electric Hellfire Acid Test]--- I've been thinking about symbolisms, again, and the concreteness of the universe. Because so many people really do wnat nothing more than what they can hold, and what they can see, and Quantify. I think you see where i'm headed? Gave myself away, a bit too soon, did i? Well, i can keep going, if you can. Endurance, and all... Stamina... Anyway, the problems i have with "only what you can see and quantify" are many, i guess, but it really comes down to the basic "if you'd fucking look, you'd be able to see and quantify a lot more."
Refusing to look into the world, for fear of paranoia, and connections that "aren't really there." Apophenia. (The Electric Hellfire Club - [Epitaph]). It's all gone shitty... mealy, grainy texture, where everything's mixed together, and the rush of New is so hard, so fast that people just can't fucking stop and appreciate that it all Fits together, we don't have to smoosh it. It was like this, long before we got here, and will, likely, be this way, long after we leave. Except not. It'll be exactly the way it's perceived, by whatever perceives it. Same old tune, i know, but it's so fucking important to me. Yes, to me. I don't know if it's important to all of you. But i know that it affects you. If only because you're reading this. If you are.
Quanti-/Qualification of the universe is gone at by setting up the walls and the borders. Then, every once in a while, someone comes a long and rips the walls down. To everyone else, that is. To them, all the did was walk forward. The walls weren't really there. Some, sure, tear them down, forcibly.. but they are never fondly remembered... But when they are fondly remembered, their martyrdom prevents them from enjoying their memory. So the walls are set. And we walk the halls of the maze, and we search for ways. And sometimes we think that the labyrinth is all that there is to see. All there ever will be. (The Electric Hellfire Club - [Black Bus]). But maybe not. Quality comes along, and gets us to slice our worlds, to Know we are continually slicing our worlds, in to neat little sections. Because recognising/admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it...
We are broken. Shattered, in the world, perhaps. Shattered Of the world. We hate that we do this to ourselves, but can't survive, elsewise/. We can';t not be ourselves. We hate the thought in inautonomy. I do. The drive to preserve that, another wall. A load bearing wall. The symbols we code, around ourselves, ways to keep each other out, as we hope that someone decyphers us, and lets themselves in. Codes in a together language... Because surviving, alone, is possible, but painful. My ears are burning. Who knows. I want to do so many things... and for the first time, i'm consciously aware and afraid of what might happen if i break down these walls... i don't remember the last time i was afraid. Not like this. Not of knowing...
Filter and The Crystal Method - [(Can't You) Trip Like I Do]--- i wait in darkened rooms, shirking my self-decided duties, wanting to know what the hell gives you all the right. To be here. To exist at me. To make me worry about you. To affect me... To allow myself to allow you to touch me, that i ever worry about what you think say do or feel? That i gave you a glimpse of my code? What gives me the right to think i can look at you, and that, together, we could, maybe build a brand new code, full of personal affectations, flares, nuances, signature lines like fingeprints, but together, and whole, a system that knows itself and that is an It, And a Them. Us. 0/1. Autonomy has so many meanings. So many roots...
Marylin Manson & Sneaker Pimps - [Long Hard Road Out Of Hell]--- When we talk about Rules, and the things that keep us separate, we talk to the part of us that needs the structure, because what's the point, otherwise? There needs to be a basis, right? There Needs to be a Bassist. And we can't simply float. Forgetting how to truly self-start. Needing a kick-off... Because we're all alone, when we're all together...
So many things to think about... So much, run together, in the system of probability, and how that doesn't mean unknown. Only Less Likely. How we can smoosh it all together, happy three-year-old Play-Doh play. (Kirk Hammet& Orbital - [Satan]). The indivdual colours are still there, and there's the doses of just the right amount of difference, to make it interesting. What about knowing how and why? The weird shit doesn't need an explanation, anymore? Now that you've thrown yourself into it, it's accept and run? No know why, how, who, when, what this makes sense to you? Everything has rules. Everything. Because we can't operate, otherwise. We assign laws and charateristics and definitions, and just because the rules are different doesn't mean they aren't there. They are what helps us to get to the place without rules. and With rules. Something that not even Tao can encompass, because there's still an Idea, behind that name, and if there Is an idea, and not All/No Ideas, then it's incomplete, and too much. You'll never see it that way. Controlled abandon. (Korn& The Dust Brothers - [Kick The P.A.]). And maybe it's Hope Less, and mybe that's the key to it all. Stop aiming for anything but everything, and go, but that doesn't get me very far, in this Material World, and i am a material. Boy, this sucks. Rambling, on purpose, perhaps.
I wait, here, to see what happens when i follow a path. When i try to get others to folow it with me. To go to a place where things may or may not make sense, at first. (Butthole Surfers& Moby - [Tiny Rubberhand]). A place where, if you don't take a definative action, and put every ounce of 1 behind it, then you're simply sitting. Spinning. Waiting. And that's not to say that that's worse.
Some of you could give a fuck less about the things i've written, here. That's not "angst," as yuo know it, but Angst. The discomfort that comes with understanding something. You don't care, and you don't want to hear it. Or you disagree. Or whatever. Maybe you just don't know what the Fuck i'm talking about, anymore... I'm talking about the fact that, lately, the weird shit's been pilling up, and there's the danger of labeling it all coincidence, and labeling it all synchronicity, and labeling it all Anything. Thrown into the mælstrom, and gladly saying Wee, or clinging to the nearest shred of torn shelter, instead of I wonder where this leads, why it spins, and why i made it...
DJ Spook& Metallica - [For Whom The Bell Tolls (The Irony Of All)]--- I hope that there's a reason. But i'm damn sure not certain that there is, outside of the reasons we make for ourselves...
In the end, though, maybe that's for the best... And maybe saying "wee," every once in a while, isn't so bad, after all...
"Yeah. And maybe i'm a Chinese jet pilot." heh{heh. Maybe i am, at that...)
Dream Well
Refusing to look into the world, for fear of paranoia, and connections that "aren't really there." Apophenia. (The Electric Hellfire Club - [Epitaph]). It's all gone shitty... mealy, grainy texture, where everything's mixed together, and the rush of New is so hard, so fast that people just can't fucking stop and appreciate that it all Fits together, we don't have to smoosh it. It was like this, long before we got here, and will, likely, be this way, long after we leave. Except not. It'll be exactly the way it's perceived, by whatever perceives it. Same old tune, i know, but it's so fucking important to me. Yes, to me. I don't know if it's important to all of you. But i know that it affects you. If only because you're reading this. If you are.
Quanti-/Qualification of the universe is gone at by setting up the walls and the borders. Then, every once in a while, someone comes a long and rips the walls down. To everyone else, that is. To them, all the did was walk forward. The walls weren't really there. Some, sure, tear them down, forcibly.. but they are never fondly remembered... But when they are fondly remembered, their martyrdom prevents them from enjoying their memory. So the walls are set. And we walk the halls of the maze, and we search for ways. And sometimes we think that the labyrinth is all that there is to see. All there ever will be. (The Electric Hellfire Club - [Black Bus]). But maybe not. Quality comes along, and gets us to slice our worlds, to Know we are continually slicing our worlds, in to neat little sections. Because recognising/admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it...
We are broken. Shattered, in the world, perhaps. Shattered Of the world. We hate that we do this to ourselves, but can't survive, elsewise/. We can';t not be ourselves. We hate the thought in inautonomy. I do. The drive to preserve that, another wall. A load bearing wall. The symbols we code, around ourselves, ways to keep each other out, as we hope that someone decyphers us, and lets themselves in. Codes in a together language... Because surviving, alone, is possible, but painful. My ears are burning. Who knows. I want to do so many things... and for the first time, i'm consciously aware and afraid of what might happen if i break down these walls... i don't remember the last time i was afraid. Not like this. Not of knowing...
Filter and The Crystal Method - [(Can't You) Trip Like I Do]--- i wait in darkened rooms, shirking my self-decided duties, wanting to know what the hell gives you all the right. To be here. To exist at me. To make me worry about you. To affect me... To allow myself to allow you to touch me, that i ever worry about what you think say do or feel? That i gave you a glimpse of my code? What gives me the right to think i can look at you, and that, together, we could, maybe build a brand new code, full of personal affectations, flares, nuances, signature lines like fingeprints, but together, and whole, a system that knows itself and that is an It, And a Them. Us. 0/1. Autonomy has so many meanings. So many roots...
Marylin Manson & Sneaker Pimps - [Long Hard Road Out Of Hell]--- When we talk about Rules, and the things that keep us separate, we talk to the part of us that needs the structure, because what's the point, otherwise? There needs to be a basis, right? There Needs to be a Bassist. And we can't simply float. Forgetting how to truly self-start. Needing a kick-off... Because we're all alone, when we're all together...
So many things to think about... So much, run together, in the system of probability, and how that doesn't mean unknown. Only Less Likely. How we can smoosh it all together, happy three-year-old Play-Doh play. (Kirk Hammet& Orbital - [Satan]). The indivdual colours are still there, and there's the doses of just the right amount of difference, to make it interesting. What about knowing how and why? The weird shit doesn't need an explanation, anymore? Now that you've thrown yourself into it, it's accept and run? No know why, how, who, when, what this makes sense to you? Everything has rules. Everything. Because we can't operate, otherwise. We assign laws and charateristics and definitions, and just because the rules are different doesn't mean they aren't there. They are what helps us to get to the place without rules. and With rules. Something that not even Tao can encompass, because there's still an Idea, behind that name, and if there Is an idea, and not All/No Ideas, then it's incomplete, and too much. You'll never see it that way. Controlled abandon. (Korn& The Dust Brothers - [Kick The P.A.]). And maybe it's Hope Less, and mybe that's the key to it all. Stop aiming for anything but everything, and go, but that doesn't get me very far, in this Material World, and i am a material. Boy, this sucks. Rambling, on purpose, perhaps.
I wait, here, to see what happens when i follow a path. When i try to get others to folow it with me. To go to a place where things may or may not make sense, at first. (Butthole Surfers& Moby - [Tiny Rubberhand]). A place where, if you don't take a definative action, and put every ounce of 1 behind it, then you're simply sitting. Spinning. Waiting. And that's not to say that that's worse.
Some of you could give a fuck less about the things i've written, here. That's not "angst," as yuo know it, but Angst. The discomfort that comes with understanding something. You don't care, and you don't want to hear it. Or you disagree. Or whatever. Maybe you just don't know what the Fuck i'm talking about, anymore... I'm talking about the fact that, lately, the weird shit's been pilling up, and there's the danger of labeling it all coincidence, and labeling it all synchronicity, and labeling it all Anything. Thrown into the mælstrom, and gladly saying Wee, or clinging to the nearest shred of torn shelter, instead of I wonder where this leads, why it spins, and why i made it...
DJ Spook& Metallica - [For Whom The Bell Tolls (The Irony Of All)]--- I hope that there's a reason. But i'm damn sure not certain that there is, outside of the reasons we make for ourselves...
In the end, though, maybe that's for the best... And maybe saying "wee," every once in a while, isn't so bad, after all...
"Yeah. And maybe i'm a Chinese jet pilot." heh{heh. Maybe i am, at that...)
Dream Well
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 01:27 am (UTC)Because recognising/admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it...
yes. see my latest LJ entry.
no subject
close your eyes, take your hands off the handlebars
Date: 2003-07-02 05:46 am (UTC)Re: close your eyes, take your hands off the handlebars
This+That=The Other. Ideal. *smiles wistfully*
Havent read this yet...
Date: 2003-07-02 03:17 pm (UTC)*shudders*
Ness
Re: Havent read this yet...
Re: close your eyes, take your hands off the handlebars
Date: 2003-07-02 11:07 pm (UTC)Re: close your eyes, take your hands off the handlebars
I seem to be talking in POE, recently... or maybe that's simply the way the world wants to hear...