Cinnamon Spider
Jan. 23rd, 2002 11:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolven7My life works like this: Think of a spider building a web. The spider needs to cast out connections, go from point to point, make the web strong, and make sure that whatever it is that it's trying to catch will get caught.
A small digression: In life we connect to various people on various levels. Family connects to you on an emotional level, primarily. Friends are often emotional connections, but mainly they stay within the realm of mental connections. These are ALL generalisations, with the understanding that things are going to vary, person to person. Back to this point. Your priest or other Spiritual advisor-type has this weird connection that's based in the mental, emotional, AND the Spiritual places. The weird thing about this is that, because of the varying connections, here, there is the higher likelihood of it being WEAKER, rather than stronger.They're trying to get you on all of these levels, and thye all only get a little.
NOW! With these models in mind, let us, again, look at how my life works. Firstly, physical distance has little to do with this. Some of the people i'm MOST connected to are over 600 miles away. So there's THAT. Second, to return to the spiderweb metaphor, Some of the connections are not as good as others, for varying reasons. Scratch that; they're all good, for differing purposes. Sometymes a rock, sometymes a tree, oft-tymes a WIND BLOWN LEAF, will be or appear a suitable connection point. Unless i, as the spider, am looking for my quary to completely slip through my grasp, i need solid stable things.
In this casting, in the past, it has never occured to me that it might be better for me to simply sever some strands, rather than let them hang loose, where the simplest breeze is able to do my over-all goal serious harm. It has occured to me, today.
As i said above, people connect with and affect us in varying ways. This is wonderful. Variety. Spice of life. All that shit. Now, there are the ones who aren't quite there, or anywhere, yet. They have a tennative connection with you. They are the goal. Their actions, their moods, &c., these are the winds that change your course. Or that may make you decide to change said course. With these, it may be easier to cut whatever loose tie there is, and start over. Either with that person, or somewhere else, entirely.
This little spider's goal is communication and understanding and Justice and a whole bunch of other shit that i've talked about, at length. No mas, ese noche. This requires BEING CONNECTED! But the stress and the strain of the wind on these loose little pieces of shit fragments... They can hurt, more than the full connections being severed, and that's saying a LOT. i love you all, who read this, even if i don't fucking know you. i'd like my web to be stronger, please.
Some people tell me i know too many people. Some people say i spread myself thin. Some people say i don't know enough people, and that if i knew more i could yell at them all.
i say i know enough people for THIS INSTANT. The instant i meet someone new, that number goes up by one. And i cast out a new strand. And Hope.
Good Nyte.
Dream Well
A small digression: In life we connect to various people on various levels. Family connects to you on an emotional level, primarily. Friends are often emotional connections, but mainly they stay within the realm of mental connections. These are ALL generalisations, with the understanding that things are going to vary, person to person. Back to this point. Your priest or other Spiritual advisor-type has this weird connection that's based in the mental, emotional, AND the Spiritual places. The weird thing about this is that, because of the varying connections, here, there is the higher likelihood of it being WEAKER, rather than stronger.They're trying to get you on all of these levels, and thye all only get a little.
NOW! With these models in mind, let us, again, look at how my life works. Firstly, physical distance has little to do with this. Some of the people i'm MOST connected to are over 600 miles away. So there's THAT. Second, to return to the spiderweb metaphor, Some of the connections are not as good as others, for varying reasons. Scratch that; they're all good, for differing purposes. Sometymes a rock, sometymes a tree, oft-tymes a WIND BLOWN LEAF, will be or appear a suitable connection point. Unless i, as the spider, am looking for my quary to completely slip through my grasp, i need solid stable things.
In this casting, in the past, it has never occured to me that it might be better for me to simply sever some strands, rather than let them hang loose, where the simplest breeze is able to do my over-all goal serious harm. It has occured to me, today.
As i said above, people connect with and affect us in varying ways. This is wonderful. Variety. Spice of life. All that shit. Now, there are the ones who aren't quite there, or anywhere, yet. They have a tennative connection with you. They are the goal. Their actions, their moods, &c., these are the winds that change your course. Or that may make you decide to change said course. With these, it may be easier to cut whatever loose tie there is, and start over. Either with that person, or somewhere else, entirely.
This little spider's goal is communication and understanding and Justice and a whole bunch of other shit that i've talked about, at length. No mas, ese noche. This requires BEING CONNECTED! But the stress and the strain of the wind on these loose little pieces of shit fragments... They can hurt, more than the full connections being severed, and that's saying a LOT. i love you all, who read this, even if i don't fucking know you. i'd like my web to be stronger, please.
Some people tell me i know too many people. Some people say i spread myself thin. Some people say i don't know enough people, and that if i knew more i could yell at them all.
i say i know enough people for THIS INSTANT. The instant i meet someone new, that number goes up by one. And i cast out a new strand. And Hope.
Good Nyte.
Dream Well
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
C spider
Just know that you have your true freinds and those are the ones that will love you no matter what even if you have fights or are pissed off at them. They are there and will be. I know I can be rather annoying with my little problems but you at least know that they are big to me and try and help me. I try to do the same for you. I do try and listen to your advice and I have been takeing it. I hope I can help you with wa=hatever it is that you need at any point.
hmm
Date: 2002-01-24 01:02 pm (UTC)it is true that the more friends you have the less connection you will have with each....
BUT prioritizing and cateloguing your friends helps in that arena.
Re: hmm
Date: 2002-01-24 02:15 pm (UTC)Specialist
When I was in California, someone referred to me as a professional mystic, and I wondered exactly what that meant.
Simply put, I'm a person who, in an effort to keep most strands in the same section to catch a specific quarry (and keep the whole thing strong) has most of his relationships on a spiritual level. Not emotional OR mental, but ONLY spiritual. It's actually harder than it sounds, which takes some doing.
My mental and emotional presence have been, in general, of little use. My advice tends to suck it, and my ability to empathize has diminished greatly since middle school. But I still "connect" to people. Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, remembers my name on the first hearing, with a few exceptions among people I had forgotten existed (Though most of them remember me, too).
Essentially, I am walking ambience.
Re: Specialist