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No One Plays Truth or Dare, Anymore
Oct. 24th, 2010 10:41 pmI had a dream, last night, about truth or dare, or trust games, or trust, in general. I don't rightly remember, anymore, as I meant to make this post earlier this morning. That being said, This might not be as crystal clear as it would have been, but I feel the need to talk about it, nonetheless.
So. When I was younger, we played truth or dare, as I may have mentioned, before. While this definitely included the traditional things that truth or dare included, it also had a special blend of options, devised by people with a really loose sense of morality, and a deep interest in human behaviour. Truth or Dare can be a really special hell when the people you're playing with can figure out the parts of you that you really don't want others to see. But, of course, there was always a shut-off valve. If you were just too terribly fucked up about a statement or an action, you could pass. But ToD is social contract theory in miniature: The more often you break the rules, the more thoroughly people feel they don't have to adhere to the rules when dealing with you. And, after a while, why are we even playing, anymore?
This, by the way, is why people think it's okay to torture suspected terrorists. Just a note.
But anyway, this is my point: There are ways to leverage serious levels of social discomfort in order to make one question oneself and one's actions, and to really Think about what the fuck it is we're doing... That's what Truth or Dare can be used for, at its most nuanced, yeah?
I'm starting to feel like I've written this before...
These day, people like to say that they've "grown up," that they've "grown out of" these party games, or who they were before. I think that's bullshit. i think that what people have done is grow closed, and quiet, and more willing to use "adulthood" as a way not to risk anything in a social situation, because there's so much more to lose. Jobs, kids, houses can all be put in danger if the wrong people think you're "unfit." But what is "fitness," really, if not the ability to grow and adapt, and test limitations?
So many people close down. But some just throw it all to the wind. They have parties where people dance naked in their back yards or living rooms, they have massive make out piles, or orgies, they talk about whatever comes to mind, and bare the darkest parts of themselves in conversation, without need of inebriation. Well. Not much inebriation.
But both of these are the ends of the spectrum. In the middle, with people whom you want to trust, people whom you want to know, there still has to be an entre into the act of trust. There has to be a give and take. There has to be room to be prodded into pushing your boundaries, taking a critical look at yourself, and exposing the ugly, saintly, and/or naughty bits to the light.
I'm not willing to give that up.
So. When I was younger, we played truth or dare, as I may have mentioned, before. While this definitely included the traditional things that truth or dare included, it also had a special blend of options, devised by people with a really loose sense of morality, and a deep interest in human behaviour. Truth or Dare can be a really special hell when the people you're playing with can figure out the parts of you that you really don't want others to see. But, of course, there was always a shut-off valve. If you were just too terribly fucked up about a statement or an action, you could pass. But ToD is social contract theory in miniature: The more often you break the rules, the more thoroughly people feel they don't have to adhere to the rules when dealing with you. And, after a while, why are we even playing, anymore?
This, by the way, is why people think it's okay to torture suspected terrorists. Just a note.
But anyway, this is my point: There are ways to leverage serious levels of social discomfort in order to make one question oneself and one's actions, and to really Think about what the fuck it is we're doing... That's what Truth or Dare can be used for, at its most nuanced, yeah?
I'm starting to feel like I've written this before...
These day, people like to say that they've "grown up," that they've "grown out of" these party games, or who they were before. I think that's bullshit. i think that what people have done is grow closed, and quiet, and more willing to use "adulthood" as a way not to risk anything in a social situation, because there's so much more to lose. Jobs, kids, houses can all be put in danger if the wrong people think you're "unfit." But what is "fitness," really, if not the ability to grow and adapt, and test limitations?
So many people close down. But some just throw it all to the wind. They have parties where people dance naked in their back yards or living rooms, they have massive make out piles, or orgies, they talk about whatever comes to mind, and bare the darkest parts of themselves in conversation, without need of inebriation. Well. Not much inebriation.
But both of these are the ends of the spectrum. In the middle, with people whom you want to trust, people whom you want to know, there still has to be an entre into the act of trust. There has to be a give and take. There has to be room to be prodded into pushing your boundaries, taking a critical look at yourself, and exposing the ugly, saintly, and/or naughty bits to the light.
I'm not willing to give that up.
