This weekend and Dreams of Fire and a Zombie Apocalypse

Dreams of zombie apocalypse, even after burtning out the primary infection (a forest site, way out in the woods) with hellfire. Someone escaped and took it with them. But at least there was someone left to remember what they could do, and how to kill them. (Gorillaz - [5/4]). Most of the first half of the dream took place in a grocery store, looking for food, with my brothers, and running into rivals of ours, from college, and friends for dinner.

Either way, really, woke up suddenly, cold sweats.

The memorial, yesterday, was very beautiful. (Cole Porter, Lara Fabian & Mario Frangoulis - [So in Love]). So many people I'd not seen in many many years. John was there. Chanda, Chassity, Kendra, Alison, Jessie Dorrisey, Kellan, Rafael, Les, Priscilla, Sally and Isa. When mech_angel and I got to the huge back yard, the fisrt person we saw was kitsuchan, so that was good. Familiar people make those things less... SOul-Crushingly Painful. I still stand by the idea that we cry not because they're gone, but because We won't get to see them, anymore. (Warren Zevon - [Accidentally Like a Martyr]). Anyway. It was beautiful, and they gave us food, and there were pictures of Ian, everywhere.

Saturday night was the Religious Studies potluck. It... It was good. Strange, and kind of like one of those machines where you have several different independant pieces, and then, all of a sudden, you realise that they're circling each other, and interlocked with each other. It was like that. Pretty nice, really. Helped Dr. McClymond both set and clean up, because we got there early.

Arcana - [The Passage]--- Missed not_hothead_yet's party, but I heard she had an awesome time, and I'm glad.

Missed Paul's going away party. Sucks, but.. Well. Had to go to the wake.

Missed HeXxt, which was apparently awesome. Sorry I could show but... Yeah.

Static-X - [Transmission]--- Breakfast time.

The work I'm doing.

Tom Waits - [Trampled Rose]--- I'm still writing out my thesis thoughts. In fact, I'm going to be working on that, today, and I may swing my way downtown, to get some work done, on that score.

Still connecting the Jungian, Quantum Mechanical, and Crowlean understandings, becuase... (The Art of Noise - [A Day at the Races]). Well. It's like I told mech_angel, the other night: All of the things I find and put together are approximations for the sake of a foundation. People want to know where there is precident, and so I find the various substances that are most like what I'm trying to do, and I place them together, next to each other, subtle modifactions and modulations of the theme, and what comes out is not it exactly (there really is no "It" for there to be; it's my thoughts, my goals, which shift and change), but it is an approximation with enough components to allow new people a way in, if they're willing to go somewhere strange, and maybe a little scary.

The Hegel scholar gets the focus on the will. (Hum - [Ms. Lazarus]). The Americanist/Psychologist of Religion gets the Jungian aspects. The Philosopher of Religion/Romanticist gets the Crowley and the Lucifer stuff. They all get the background radiation of QM and they get to focus where I don't want any of them to see, and, in the end, the smoke and mirrors are the only things worth watching, because that's where the picture comes from, really.

When all is said and done. Hm.

Flogging Molly - [The Kilburn High Road]--- Going to go listen to some more Tool, and Art of Noise, and go down to campus, to at least get something done, today, out of the house. After I put my clothes in the dryer.

Ta.

Damn you G.E. Moore/

White Zombie - [El Phantasmo and the Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama]--- In his response to Sidgwick's hedonistic ethics, Moore posits that if we were only conscious of the sensation of pleasure, not even being conscious of the fact that we were conscious, then we would not have any true way by which to access the Good. Sidwick held that Consciousness of Pleasure was the ultimate good, you see.

But, as I read that, I had to stop, because the thought came to me: What the Hell is he calling consciousness? What is anyone calling consciousness, these days, and ever, but, specifically, in Moore's case, it seems a bit off.

Is consciousness consciousness, without consciousness of consciousness?

If I don't experience myself experiencing something, how then can *I* truly be said to be experiencing it?

Strange.

The Lounge Lizards - [Fatty Walks]--- Also, thanks to wacko1138, for this: Worry surrounding the impending startup of CERN's Large Hadron Collider.

I'm glad I'm not the only one worried.