Tired, but with more time, on assignments.

This on CNN, in relation to This, from DARPA.

The former, linked from lists, and brought to my full attention, by mech_angel.

In other news, i have more time, on one of my math assignments, than previously thought. So that's good.

Tired now. Dream Well

I dreamed

Fiddler on the Roof - [If I Were a Rich Man]--- I dreamed, from what i can remember, of very simple conversations, with me suggesting things to people (political discussions, with idiots, if they wanted to be amused), them not listening, and then realising that it was to their benefit. This is what my hopes and wishes are, now: People realising sense.

Lush - [500 (Shake Baby Shake)]--- I've tried asking, i've tried reminding, i've tried screaming at the top of my fucking lungs, and nothing seems to be working. I can't get decency, or courtesy, or consideration, for a fellow human being. Nothing. I get a bunch of bluster and complaint, but no one following through. (The Dresden Dolls - [Good Day]). So fuck it all, to hell and gone. If you don't want to do anything about it (the state of things), when suggestions are handed to you, or are worked toward with you, then you can continue to shut the fuck up.

I'm tired of the bitching and the moaning, and yeah, i understand that there are some things which are genuinely more outside of the scope of your personal control, than others. I get that. But there are some things that could have been avoided. Could have gone otherwise, if you really wanted them to (or could Go otherwise, if you Want them to.). Willing to put forth a little effort? Then let's go.

I spoke with mech_angel, last night, about the nature of my interactions, around here; how i'm always angry at something or another, now, and it's not the fact that i'm quitting smoking, or even the convergence of a number of factors, really. It's that, when it comes down to it, no one is working toward the goals that we've agreed upon. On whatever level: dishes, metaphysical overthrow, keeping the house clean, whatever. (Ass Ponys - [Little Bastard]). None of it is getting done, any further than to cover the doers own ass. For the most part. And, yeah, i get that, i'm a Proponent of that: Get Yours First. But that's not where it stops, dammit. There's an unspoke second half, and maybe that's the problem, so i'll fucking Speak it: "Then Help Everyone Get Theirs." And that can mean a lot of things. It really can.

I've started listening to the "Electric Hellfire Club" CD, that electroncat gave me, back in 2001, again. (Ben Folds Five - [Song for the Dumped]). Helped me to remember some important things, about humour and music.

I'm off to class. These have ben your morning announcments.

"Say you love Satan, Claim him as your saviour, Let yourself go insane."

The Electric Hellfire Club - Invocation + Age Of Fire--- This CD always does fucked up things to my head. Without this CD, i would not be where i am now. Literally.*tips hat*

I've been reading 1984, all week, slowly, and i'm nearly done with it. In the appendix on Newspeak, now. In reading through it, i found myself agreeing with O'Brien, in a great many places. But the main point on which i disagree, is the Crux of the Party: That no one works to gain power, only to give it up. I totally disagree, there. There are people whose goals are the dispersal of power to everyone, and, in fact, aim for total equality, balanced with total freedom. It's a difficult dream, but the Fallacy of the party lies in the doctrines, themselves. At once, they claim that nothing is impossible, through power, that the power of the people is to become the Party, and that people are powerless. It's funny how, by using that same logic, you can prove that people are all-powerful, if the Party becomes Them. Solipsism as universal power, but with the aid of others. I do have a point, here, i promise.

It's strange, to watch paths which run so closely parallel, and then diverge, or cross, wildly, only to come back to certain points, again. (The Electric Hellfire Club - Psychedelic Sacrifice). There tenets of the Party, in 1984, which closely resemble my own premises. But they hold them as illusions, tricks, self-induced hallucinations. I look at the "march of science," as it were, and i see them as manipulation of states. Whereas the Party says there's nothing outside the mind, i say that there's nothing other than the mind, and, simultaneously, there is nothing other than objective reality, arrived at by unspoken consensus. The afforementioned mind created the world which created itself, by means of perceiving it, and the same happens to everyone. It's a give and take, because the other factors, involved, have to agree to what you're trying to do, for it to work.

Impromtu Poll, for the Day, and yes, this, too, has a point: Do you trust me?

The Electric Hellfire Club - Fall From Grace--- Back later, with more questions and answers. Ta.

Now, the important questions:

Rasputina - [You Don't Own Me]--- If you trust me (two different links there), then do you know what i plan to do with the world? What i am doing with the world, in slow degrees? (Interpol - [Obstacle 2]). If you don't know, do you want to, or have you been deliberately not paying attention?

If you Do know, do you think/feel/believe i can do it?

Do you want to help?

These are the important questions. Just so i know where we stand. I don't want to stand completely alone, and, many times, i feel like i am. But that's all weird and Messianic-sounding, and that's not what i'm going for, here: Simply put, i want to open, enlighten, and change the world, and i think i can. (Chris Ward - [Hesh Wants Some Sex]). I think that everyone else can, too, but you should damn well know that, by now. I think that you all can, and i believe in you to do so...

I trust each of you to do what you're going to do, at the very least, and i trust many of you to search for and be true to yourselves, above all else. (Deadsy - [Itsy Bitsy Titsy Girl]). And that's important, to me, more than most things. I trust a few of you with my lives, and i trust one of you with utterly everything that i am, no distinctions, no regrets, no matter how much that may initially discomfort. Trust is strange, that way. So i want to know, if you want to know, if you know what i want.

Jack Off Jill - [Covet& Angel's Fuck (Live)]--- And i wonder, in there, if, in the knowing, some of the trust would go away? Sometimes it does. Sometimes it strengthens. We'll just have to see.

I await.

{12.27am:Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - [Mathsong]--- And let it be stated: If you don't trust me, That's cool, too. The other questions still apply.}