Hah. Life is not a peach pie parade.

The only thing you can expect is the unexpected, dear WOLVEN. You may have to take a circuitous detour on the way to an engagement, or your car may even break down. You may show up on someone's doorstep only to find you'd noted the wrong address. Your surroundings are conspiring to jolt you out of your daily routine, and sending you a veiled message that you may be becoming just a tad too comfortable in your current routine...

The Dresden Dolls - [Bank of Boston Beauty Queen (Live)]--- What is this "comfort" of which they speak? If there's anything i'm Not, right now, it's comfortable, and maybe i'm becoming sedate, in my misery, having given up, and not decided to get myself the hell out of it. But what the fuck, you know? It's a difficult set of situations, right now, and i have to learn from all of them, or they'll just come right the fuck back around. Yeah, certain things fade to the background, and they hide from us, but they are still there, in the dark, tugging on the lizard brain, screaming Danger, Fuck, Eat, Kill. It's slow, though, how that becomes the molasses-washed sunlight-sticky thing that holds you inplace, and dampens your movements, keeps you in place.

I hate so much, and love it, all at once, as i've said, and i have so many obligations to so many, and it's hard to keep them in line, and i want to let some of them go, but i'd have to do it to all to be "fair," but what is fair, anyway, but a personal sense of every one getting some form of what they want/perceive to be equal to what everyone else got? It's shite. Fair doesn't exist, because the grass is always greener, until we stop to realise that green is just rods, cones, states of mine ("mind"), and points of view. And, in the end, grass is just your decompossing flesh. So it's better to have a personal Justice? Some set of honour codes by which you consistently live, and the moment you break them, because someone has this idea of you and your morals built up in their minds, you're out of favour? Or is it better to be beholden to none, and only do what pleases, what feels right and True, at the time, but, then what of the other side of that, what essential connection do you miss, there, because you refuse to connect? Lonely, that place. So Hold it all, and choose. Internal consistency is easy, when you're everything.

And you are. Everything. Hate everywhere, and collapse into yourself, super-dense, like that means something to be a black hole, and pull everything in, like it means more than a dust mote, which isn't to say that a dust mote means less. It means Everything. It means you, when you know what you really are, all over, and to the core.

And then you'll know why i stay, and why i love you.

Very very good.

Oingo Boingo - [Skin]--- A night of wonderfully intense, honest, trusting, open conversation, and extreme release. And now, to sleep.

Dream Well, all

Dreams about thoughts

I am given special artefacts, to complete, and to see if they work with me, and if i know what to do with them.

I'm in a Marta station, three levels, like Five Points, and huge, and it's also a Ministry, and i'm searching for someone or something. I hop over the tracks, and leave some stuff in a train. The train leaves and i have to hunt it down, in an effort to get my trench coat and bookbag back. I go and i find a Marta police officer, who drops what he is doing, which is a conversation about the technological conversions, that are taking place, with some other officers. He is a Sergeant, comparatively, and he looks around, and we hop down into the tracks, and start to our left, chasing after the train. We are also driving.

We've jumped down into the train tracks, and the Sarge is now Rube, and we're looking for a power outlet, because my phone is dying, and it's important that it continue working. My phone is a sword, and i can kill people with the right sequence of key strokes. Rube almost gets hit by a train, twice, to help me do this, and the tunnel is getting shorter and shorter. I look/move out, into the light, and i see a square Mayan arch, to the right of us and the tracks, where they come out of the tunnel, with a group of people sitting on it, watching me try to complete this. This is a little section of open, before the tunnel starts, again. A truck rides out from the way we came, and starts ramming into the arch, trying to topple it, or move it. When it his the nearest leg of the arch, it drives forward, and manages to push the leg out from the wall, by pressure and force. The driver is mexican, and he's smiling madly. Some of the people on the arch are offended, but not freaked, and we, on the tracks, simply look at the driver. He's still grinning like an insane person, as he pulls back, and drives forward into the far leg of the arch, which is in the cornver made by the wall, and the restart of the tunnel, the wall of which protrudes, a bit, into the courtyard area which we occupy. He hits the other leg, and uses that to push the whole thing, back into place. I nearly get hit by a train, and i have to run along top of it, and balance, beside it, to keep from being torn away. We go back to work.

I am wandering with Rube and George, and we are in an old area of DC, and there are buildings that i don't recognise, and i realise that this is DC's dream of itself. There are parks that i know, but don't remember where they go, and there are parks that i always dream of. We're walking through a park, to a house, and we're having some conversation about something that George needs to do, and her family, now, lives in a section of Maryland, where i used to live, near Olney. George is also directly connected with mech_angel, and may or may not BE her. We get to her family's house, and Reggie and their mom, Joy, are there, and they are talking about the ghost of their dog, and Joy still sees George as "Millie," but Reggie knows better; she sees "Millie," at first, but then she sees George for who she really is. "Millie" and Joy have developed a rapport, over the yeras, and George is now Reggie's sometime-babysitter, which is fine with Reggie. Joy and Reggie's conversation centres around how they plan on keep JD's ghost happy, and what they're going to do, now. Rube waits outside, while George and I go in, I talk to Joy, for a while, and then go in, with George, to talk to Reggie. George is yelling at Reggie, in this tiny little apartment kitchen, about how Reggie talked about the death as if she were his mother, and how that invited all kinds of trouble, on her, especially when she didn't take the responsibility she should have. Reggie understands, they hug and make up, and we leave Reggie and Joy to their family-ness.

I'm wandering, and i'm starting to feel like i'm catching a cold, so i wrap myself in my wings, and my coat, to keep the chill out. Thoughts like "Equilbrium," except with people equal to Clericks, on the Resistance side, now, and i'm one of them. People with power, against the oppression of power. More thoguhts of the structure, seeing skylines like a clean cyberpunk dystopia, sunrise through haze, and a clearing, cool morning.

I wake up

Those were the dreams, last night. They felt important enough to note down. Now i'm damned hungry, and i'm going to go eat some breakfast foods. Later

God I've missed you, Bill Gibson

In Extremo - [Omnia Sol Temperat]--- That was probably far too familiar of me, but i've been reading over his blog archives, since he came back, in Mid-October, and the man continually amazes me.

And it really strikes me, that a man whose mind works at such an obviously lightning pace, can catch himself, pace himself, so as not to make a mis-step, in speech. (The Android Sisters - [Treasury Wizards]). Every word chosen perfectly.

http://www.williamgibsonbooks.com/blog/blog.asp

Go. Read.

{4.25pm:Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - [20 Minutes of Oxygen]--- BBC Explains the Electoral College.

That's important (and gives some interesting things to think about).}

Simply stated, or asked, as it were:

The Dresden Dolls - [Coin-Operated Boy (Live)]--- What do you do when everyone with whom you connect is either too busy, or in a different section of the country or world?

You learn to teleport.

There's nothing wrong with quantum teleportation, if you look at it from the quantum perspective. Even if you are "transferring states" onto different particles, A) there's still only one set of things, in the world, with that arrangement and B) there's everything as infinitely potential, anyway. (The Dresden Dolls - [Backstabber (Live)]). There's not a problem being there, and everywhere, if you grasp that on more than a theoretical level.

I am... so fucked, right now. And things are still better, for me, than for scores of millions of others, in this world. So whatever.

There was no real point, here, except to vent, a touch. I'll talk to you later.

Through the combined efforts of smokierings and myself

I bring you The Dresden Dolls, performing "Pierre".

Enjoy, my favourite children. Enjoy.

The Mutability of my recent Time.

I know people who were born in 1967. That fifteen years seems like a trivial space, to me [, should say something]. If it's less than fifteen, maybe even twenty, it doesn't matter. Five years older than myself is nothing, at all. Ten years is barely a consideration. I've always known older children. I socialised with my parents' friends and coworkers. I wonder how much was intended.

Hours and minutes drag on, for days, and weeks are gone in a flash; and above all, i can look back over the years, and they seem like Nothing, to me. And they make me wonder where the time has gone...

Everything is ultrafast and superslow, all at once, whorls and eddies of time and happening, and my "deja vu" is getting worse and worse, as we hit against the nodal rocks, and careen toward the cliff, and there's me, with the oar, trying to hook onto something, anything, this time, to keep us [from] going off the cliff. And, betting against that, i'm trying to teach everyone in the raft how to fly, at the same time...

Just remember what Uncle Douglas taught you, and remember to miss the ground, while forcing/integrating every possible interaction you can, that means you survive. Face the inner giver or taker, and be the sum total. Awaken the Sleeper... Lovecraftian and Desert meanings.

I'm off to side step a little more, through tonight's fugue...

{11.32pmIf you are a typical moonchild, you are likely somewhat reserved. The day ahead is likely to be a little rocky. Do you have some unfulfilled career ambitions? Are you striving to be true to yourself? Your search for self-fulfillment will be successful provided you take some risks. Follow the example set by someone who has succeeded...

Meh...}