"Another day, and i might have betrayed every scruple i had."

Today you could be asked to take charge of a new neighborhood project, WOLVEN. Or you could assume control of something new in your home. It's a good day to express authority and to take on a leadership role. Although you could be a little nervous, and you might wonder about your abilities, you'll do just fine! Trust yourself to make good choices and to express yourself the right way.

Poe - [Could Have Gone Mad]--- So, i said my formal goodbye to Smoking, tonight. And i felt it leave. I know, or rather i Think that there may be some of you in my audience that look a tad askance at my anthropomorphization of Everything, and wonder that i may be a tad Crazy, but hey, whetever. We all have our mechanisms, to get us where we're going, right? Anyway, i feel the nicotine leave my system, and i felt the smoke start to become an Irritant, again, instead of something trying to crawl back Home.

Dauby - [Mutual (CoMorbid Remix)]--- My formal goodbye, to the last cigarette i ever plan to smoke:

"I've tried to force you away, i've tried to make you go. Tried to abdjure you, tried to hate you, and all that you stand for, and none of it worked. Because i don't Want you gone. i don't want what you stand for to be away. I'm saying goodbye, because of side-effects, and dying, that way... Which is part of the point. Creation/Destruction, which is an Ideal, Phoenix-Like state... I ask and i Hope that you'll stay with me, in spirit, in ideal. That the want of this incarnation can be gone, while retaining the Ideal of you..."

Then i couldn't inhale smoke, anymore. The taste changed, and it was a disgusting thing... Instead of something for which i longed. Couldn't finish the whole thing. It's gone... {Keep in mind that the Goodbye was half-spoken, half-thought, mostly conceptual, so those words are approximations.}

Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - [Power Up]--- I've been given the advice, recently, to wait, be patient, go out and find the things that i need, store up my reserves, and trust that the universe will provide the things i need. These are not disparate and separate ideas. They can all happen at the same time... Without me being Schizophrenic. Seriously. (The Adventures Of Jet - [Radio Noise]). So that's what i'm going to do... The... Ew, that had been hanging around, the haze and maisma of the universal pressure feeling... Is somewhat gone.. I changed the way i happened to be looking at things. About 23.4 hours ago, as i was laying in bed, trying to sleep, listening to Deadsy, something Shifted. I felt different. Better. Lighter. But i still know that the same stuff is There.

See... that's the thing.. If it were a mood swing, it'd simply be a Shift, and the other shite forgotten. (The Cure - [Just Like Heaven]). This is... different, but not. All of the problems are still able to be seen, but i can see them as conquerable. Changable. Opportunities, and problems, both. I see the things that I need to be doing, in order to fix my situations... My Near Angst, because i didn't Actually understand, yet, and that was the problem. Basically i'm Happy, because i can see that, once again, True Angst is within my grasp. I can be aware of the probems of Understanding, instead of those of Not Understaning. Does that make sense, to anyone but me?

Probably. (KMFDM - [These Boots Are Made For Walkin' (Candy Remix)]). Yeah, they are. So... Hey. Shit's still shitty, and things Change, kids. Everything changes, just gotta try to roll and change With it, instead of against it. Platitude. Heh.

I'm really rather tired, now. I'll see you all, tomorrow.

Dream Well

{I often forget to post subjects, for these. I am Special...Or can't think of anything Clever.}

Gary Numan - [Absolution]--- Dreams of wandering through comic book stores, and picking out new comics that i wanted. There with people who don't know comics, that well. Raven is there, as are some people that i can't really place, other than as people fro school. The guy in the comic book store is supposed to have had my comics, and my action figures, but he'ds forgotten about my action figures, and he seems to have Sold some. I get pissed Off, and start stalking around the store, looking for my shit. Al shows me some comics that we "have to buy" for the road trip, and i tell him that we already have copies of all of those. I'm looking at the statues, and there's something, an entire segment, about people Almost stealing from places. Like food, and comic stores. we leave, get in the car, and go. People from comic book stores, that i know. Rick, from Criminal, is there, in a parking lot, next to his house which is below my mom's high school, on a hill. (Moxy Früvous - [Fly]). He's acting like a retarded child, trying to play basket ball, and whenever someone come up and tries to fuck with him, he, while continuing to act retarded, shows them up, at basketball. Everyone in the car, knowing Rick, laughs.

Fuzzy bits. More driving, and wandering through "Sub-Culture" areas of various cities.

Wandering down E Street, in northeast DC, with people fromt he car, and Capiz, and talking about the state of things, in the world, or Something. I wake up

Johnny Cash - [Hurt2]--- I'm back to waking up, way the fuck before my alarm goes off... I don't know what the hell is up with that... I'm off to get ready to go... Because i actually Am going to a comic book store with Al, and maybe people from school. That other shite was about dragon con, and stuff. (Sneaker Pimps - [Becoming X]). But if anybody tries to Steal shit from the comic store, or any food place we're at, while i'm there, whithout being told by someone who Works there, that their "money's no good here," or something of the sort? They catch The Beat Down. Especially if i like the place. Prefer not to jeapordize my ability to Ever Go Back, to those places.

But i guess, the kind of people who'd do that, to a place about which their friends obviously cared, aren't really the ones i want around, anyway.. and that simply helps me realise it, and i could kick them to the proverbial curb... Too many layers, lessons, and possibilities, to want to go into, right Now. (Echo And The Bunnymen - [The Killing Moon]). So fuck it. I'm off to down town. I'll catch you kids later.

Have good days.

Oh: Here's how i'm Slow.

Aphex Twin - [The Snow Answers Come in Dreams]-- You know the video for the song "Seven Nation Army," by the White Stirpes? Ok, now, you know the Poster, for "A Clockwork Orange," with the layered, inverted V's and Alex in one, and one of the Milk dispensers from the Korova, in the one inside that, and the one inside that as a blank? Yeah, well i just put those together, last night.

Thank you. I'm a Moron. Bye.

Yo. Nice Days.

Iggy Pop - [Lust for Life]--- So i bought cools hite today. (Gary Numan - [I Die, You Die]). I bought Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's "The Wolves In The Walls." This is an absolutely Amazing book, and i realise, now, why i love his kid's stories, so much. They are Cautionary tales, like i used to read, and be told. Old School, in that bad things happen, then people Fix them, then they all learn lessons. Those who don't... Well... Ahem. i bought Neil, Andy Kubert, and Richard Isanove's "1602" which is also amazing. Marvel comics, from a 17th century perspective. Cheesy, in parts, but still Really Cool. I bought Deadpool, issue 67, cause i was missing it, and the newest issue of Agent X, cause... The original team are on it again. Woot. "Roxor," even. (Collective Soul - [The World I Know]) I bought my DragonCon pass.

This makes me pleased, because... it's Con. It has the Potential to both Piss me Off, and Completely Redeem Itself. Possibly within the same few days. Like last year, i refuse to Plan anything, for this event, besides shows i'm going to see, and a few panels. Everything else... is up in the air. If i try to plan to meet up with people, or see them, always, in this place, unless we will Always want to see the same thihng, that makes with the Bad. And i actually have a Room, this year, so no sleeping in the 7th Floor elevator lobby of the Hyatt Regency, for 20 minutes... Which, in it's way, diminishes the experience, you know? But i'll Live.

I'm heading to 80's Night, tonight, and I'm going to dance like i'm Crazy. Heheh. (Tricky - [Makes Me Wanna Die]). So... Yes... There was somthing else i was going to say, but some kind of Update Alert distracted me. Damn Alerts... Mmm... I should eat some Food, at some point... German is going to be Amazing. Must remember to buy Books, next week, and pay rent. Ja...

I'll return, later, with rememberances, of some sort, i'm sure. Books and papers to write, and dances to dance. Ta, kids. Read "The Wolves In The Walls," if you haven't already.

Later.