Pragmatism, and Opportunism are so wrong, sometimes...

VNV Nation - [Darkangel (Azrael)]--- A sick, sad part of me is ticking off the ways i can use these events to my advantage. *sigh* It's all cheap, and petty, disgusting advantage, though, so my sense of self-morals kicks their ass, and all is well.

Or something.

I had this whole big post planned, about how math was nothing but manipulating concepts, and ideas. The understanding changes, and the way in which we apprehend, but the underlying mathematics, and principles are the same. We only ever catch glimpses of it. None of our understanding are ever Wrong, simply Different. This came from the fact that we started discussing Locke, in history of western phi, today, and there was that whole Locke, Hume Mathematics debate. Hume said math either Can't be innate ideas, or must be All innate ideas, and Locke and the Rationalist Crew said "Why?" feh.. out of steam...

I was going to write about that, but then i heard about the sniper shit. As if i wasn't thinking about it, enough, with all of my family, and many of my friends, there, now it actually grazes (no fucking pun intended) my direct sphere of perception, and i have to deal with the re-realization that Washington, D.C. and surrounding areas, are NOT that big. This either means that s/he'll move on, sooner (more's the pity for it not getting caught), or that it will be more likely to affect me, directly, again. Or both. I'm really pissed, and worried, and i know so many people, in D.C., i might as well know the whole city. (Gary Numan - [Dark]). It's my home town, you know?

Anyway... think about that math thing, and, if you bug me about it, enough, i may write more about it, later, if i can get the ideas straight, in my head...

God Lives Underwater - [Happy]--- Look, i'm sorry if i'm not too talkative, but.. SHIT! Sniper! Family! Friends! Going to be in my head, for a while. *twitch* Let me just work through this muddled, confused, crazed shite in my head, and then i'll talk a little more.

Predator. Trying not to be hypocritical. Trying to see if i Am, or if insanity rescinds that. Or if, or if, or if. Yes? Yes.

Some of you, at least, get it a little more, now.

How do i reconcile these two views? Am i not meant to? Well Fuck that. I'll do it, anyway. But how.

Good Bye.

Dream Well

Am doing better... Introspection actually Helped my mood.

Dead Can Dance - [Desert Song]--- Figured out some great (by which i mean "exceedingly interesting," and not necessarily "Good") things about myself, and was clubbed across the skull, by my Modus Operandi, again. My making me right, and wondering, and so on. Basically i like to be right, or at least not be wrong, by myself. Working on grafting all of myself, and accepting other people's Unacceptance, as easily as their acceptance, into my sphere. They don't agree. That's the way things are, for now. And if i accepted "For Now," as good enough, i wouldn't be a teacher. Things will eventually be The Jewel, again. All Facets catching the light.

At least i hope so.

Good night again.

Dream Well