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wolven7So, i go in tomorrow, at 4, and work till 12, but i'm still only going to be doing gatehouse work. (Radiohead - [Everything In Its Right Place]). I'm amazed. I haven't updated my journal, multiple times, tonight... I read the last book of The Authority, tonight, it was good... Mrowr... i need to do more studying, auf Duetsch... I'm really kind of out of it, right now.. don't know why... want to be sleeping...
Radiohead - [Kid A]--- I feel bad that i haven't studied, more, and i feel bad that i complain about my job, so much... It's just that it's such an impediment to the things i want to do. That's extremely selfish, i know, but listen: In most jobs, if you get scheduled to work, on a time when you'd rather not, you talk to the people, and you get something done, yes? WEll, here, there's no talking to people. I told them that i would like to not have a schedule that required me to drastically alter my sleep schedule, from one day to the next. I get this. I tell them that i would prefer to not have to work, late, Sunday nights, as i have classes at 12, Monday mornings. I get This. They Know that i rely, currently, on another worker, to get me to and from work, and the schedule him, in an overlapping time frame, in relation to when i work, thusly making it impossible for me to get home, Sunday nights. In other words, I Get This.
Radiohead - [The National Anthem]--- Now, i'm sure i could talk to them, about it, and get something done, but the fact of the matter is, i tried. I told the Director of Security, and i Told the guy who does the Schedules. The more i complain, to them, or "try to work it out," the higher the likelihood that they'll say something along the lines of "Well, it seems that our goals just aren't meshing, here, and I don't know what to tell you." Which basically means, "We're going to have to let you go, soon." And, if that happens, then it is most likely that i will not have another job lined up, let alone a job that i actually like. So i suffer through it. But i refuse to suffer in complete silence. (Radiohead - [How To Disappear Completely]). That's simply not something i can do. Eventually, when i tire of all the bullshit, and when the $9/hour doesn't make as much of a difference, as it used to, i'll get up the motivation to quit/find another job/move on, not necessarily in that order. Until then, there's nothing to do, but grin and bear it, and bitch, briefly, when it irks the living shit out of me.
As for the studying, i haven't been able to concentrate, on any one thing, for more than a few minutes at a time, which is really not conducive, at all, to the whole "Studying" thing. Like right now, i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to be getting home, in 2.25 hours... So far, i got nothin'. Maybe a cab. That could work. But that's more money than i have, on me, right now. (Radiohead - [Treefingers]). The title of this song creeps me out... a lot... I keep getting flashes, in my head, from "The Ring," and, now, from the last book of The Authority... Weird shit, all around... I should go, try to study, now that there isn't too much going on... But it's like, earlier, when i tried to meditate: I sat, full lotus, and would empty/focus, for a few seconds, and then the phone would ring. Or my pager would go off. And then people were at the house, so meditating, instead of hosting, was out of the question. Courteous streak strikes again, eh?
Radiohead - [Optimistic]--- Other than that, i'm confused, on the Dance Floor, i'm tired, in life, and i just got shown that even Thinking of studying, while here, is a bad idea... So i'm off. May be back, before heading home. May not. We'll see... Just in case:
Gute Nacht.
Aufwiedersehen.
Radiohead - [Kid A]--- I feel bad that i haven't studied, more, and i feel bad that i complain about my job, so much... It's just that it's such an impediment to the things i want to do. That's extremely selfish, i know, but listen: In most jobs, if you get scheduled to work, on a time when you'd rather not, you talk to the people, and you get something done, yes? WEll, here, there's no talking to people. I told them that i would like to not have a schedule that required me to drastically alter my sleep schedule, from one day to the next. I get this. I tell them that i would prefer to not have to work, late, Sunday nights, as i have classes at 12, Monday mornings. I get This. They Know that i rely, currently, on another worker, to get me to and from work, and the schedule him, in an overlapping time frame, in relation to when i work, thusly making it impossible for me to get home, Sunday nights. In other words, I Get This.
Radiohead - [The National Anthem]--- Now, i'm sure i could talk to them, about it, and get something done, but the fact of the matter is, i tried. I told the Director of Security, and i Told the guy who does the Schedules. The more i complain, to them, or "try to work it out," the higher the likelihood that they'll say something along the lines of "Well, it seems that our goals just aren't meshing, here, and I don't know what to tell you." Which basically means, "We're going to have to let you go, soon." And, if that happens, then it is most likely that i will not have another job lined up, let alone a job that i actually like. So i suffer through it. But i refuse to suffer in complete silence. (Radiohead - [How To Disappear Completely]). That's simply not something i can do. Eventually, when i tire of all the bullshit, and when the $9/hour doesn't make as much of a difference, as it used to, i'll get up the motivation to quit/find another job/move on, not necessarily in that order. Until then, there's nothing to do, but grin and bear it, and bitch, briefly, when it irks the living shit out of me.
As for the studying, i haven't been able to concentrate, on any one thing, for more than a few minutes at a time, which is really not conducive, at all, to the whole "Studying" thing. Like right now, i'm trying to figure out how i'm going to be getting home, in 2.25 hours... So far, i got nothin'. Maybe a cab. That could work. But that's more money than i have, on me, right now. (Radiohead - [Treefingers]). The title of this song creeps me out... a lot... I keep getting flashes, in my head, from "The Ring," and, now, from the last book of The Authority... Weird shit, all around... I should go, try to study, now that there isn't too much going on... But it's like, earlier, when i tried to meditate: I sat, full lotus, and would empty/focus, for a few seconds, and then the phone would ring. Or my pager would go off. And then people were at the house, so meditating, instead of hosting, was out of the question. Courteous streak strikes again, eh?
Radiohead - [Optimistic]--- Other than that, i'm confused, on the Dance Floor, i'm tired, in life, and i just got shown that even Thinking of studying, while here, is a bad idea... So i'm off. May be back, before heading home. May not. We'll see... Just in case:
Gute Nacht.
Aufwiedersehen.
