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wolven7Well, i have to say, i want everyone i know at my birthday party. If you're reading this, and i know you, you're invited. i don't care about your disagreements, with whomever else may be there. I don't care about squabbles, or differences. It's my birthday party. Get to know each other. Try to be Civil. Something. Anything. i need you all there, so you can all help me make some changes, and a decision. Fuck it. I need to completely restructure my entire social life, and i need to burn it down, and re-assemble it... But do i have the strength of character to do it?
Can i actually follow my school of Fuck It, Delete It, in such a grand and affecting manner? Oh, sure, i generally talk about apply the FIDI school to the Universe, but that reduces all problems down to one problem, and then it's gone. In this, i'm merely removing a large chunk of the things that are causing me grief, and the rest is still there, to be affected by the reverberations, and repercussions. See kids? It's easy to talk about responsibility, when you do so little direct action, to begin with. Anyway, i don't know what else to do. Merging them all seems like a REALLY bad idea, without some sort of destruction, first. It'll simply get messy, that way. i need to burn it all down, first, and get the hell away from it all... i need to go somewhere new...
Now, i know what so many of you are going to say, if i were to simply state the problems i'm having with my friends, and interpersonal relationships. If i were to simply say, well i don't feel wanted, or welcome, or respected, the majority of the tymes i hang out with a large group of my friends, why then a lot of you would say "Don't be stupid, Wolven. You know you're welcome, any time. All you have to do, is ask." And that doesn't change the fact that i still feel that way. It's not your words, ladies and gentlemen, but your actions, that make me feel unwanted. Sometimes, of course, your words are the actions, or are the only actions i see, so i have to go off of that. Yet another reason i want to be able to see my friends, whenever. But it is not to be. Now, ladies and gents, i don't want you to feel personally attacked. If you want to know who you are, you can wait until i tell you, or if you're that worried about it, email me. But i need to restructure, something, somehow.
I need to go take a shower, and get ready to leave. i still haven't found a place to live, and i still haven't made a decision. I want to live, by myself, i'm fairly sure. And i don't have a job, or that much money. Yep... i'm screwed. LOL... i'll see you all later.
Day Dream
Can i actually follow my school of Fuck It, Delete It, in such a grand and affecting manner? Oh, sure, i generally talk about apply the FIDI school to the Universe, but that reduces all problems down to one problem, and then it's gone. In this, i'm merely removing a large chunk of the things that are causing me grief, and the rest is still there, to be affected by the reverberations, and repercussions. See kids? It's easy to talk about responsibility, when you do so little direct action, to begin with. Anyway, i don't know what else to do. Merging them all seems like a REALLY bad idea, without some sort of destruction, first. It'll simply get messy, that way. i need to burn it all down, first, and get the hell away from it all... i need to go somewhere new...
Now, i know what so many of you are going to say, if i were to simply state the problems i'm having with my friends, and interpersonal relationships. If i were to simply say, well i don't feel wanted, or welcome, or respected, the majority of the tymes i hang out with a large group of my friends, why then a lot of you would say "Don't be stupid, Wolven. You know you're welcome, any time. All you have to do, is ask." And that doesn't change the fact that i still feel that way. It's not your words, ladies and gentlemen, but your actions, that make me feel unwanted. Sometimes, of course, your words are the actions, or are the only actions i see, so i have to go off of that. Yet another reason i want to be able to see my friends, whenever. But it is not to be. Now, ladies and gents, i don't want you to feel personally attacked. If you want to know who you are, you can wait until i tell you, or if you're that worried about it, email me. But i need to restructure, something, somehow.
I need to go take a shower, and get ready to leave. i still haven't found a place to live, and i still haven't made a decision. I want to live, by myself, i'm fairly sure. And i don't have a job, or that much money. Yep... i'm screwed. LOL... i'll see you all later.
Day Dream
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no subject
Date: 2002-07-09 11:33 am (UTC)its wierd, i don't mind going to other people's birthday parties but have never had one myself. usually i prefer to be totally by myself.
no subject
Date: 2002-07-09 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-09 02:00 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-07-09 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-07-09 03:58 pm (UTC)-Devin
-Frantically trying to find an Aquaman dancing Gif on the 'net