wolven7: (Dream House)
I'm trying too hard to write too many disparate things, and I keep forgetting that I wanted to use my Ello as a kind of stream-of-consciousness infodump, specifically for the times when that kind of things starts to happen. There are too many weights and connotations to all of the other places that I exist online--even here--too much expectation of form and function, and I don't need any of that, right now, per se, so much as I just need to say a lot of nothing.

I have a conference in mid-late March that I need to write a paper for and register for and get a hotel room for I have a speaking engagement in mid-April for which I similarly need to parse logistics.

I need to do the work of writing more and more things down for A Future Worth Thinking About, which, by the way, now has a wordpress page? Yeah.

It snowed here, today, a great deal, but none of it stuck and it didn't even seem to melt so much as instantaneously evaporate into nothingness.

I should get back to grading papers…
wolven7: (Dream House)
Think of it as a Celtic Cross Tarot layout, but with music. That is, you think of a question and shuffle shuffle shuffle and then hit play. The songs first ten songs that play in order from that shuffle fit into the 10 positions of the Celtic Cross Tarot layout. It looks like this:

1) Me As I See Myself: Unknown Artist - Track 50 (From Antichrist Superstar)

2) Immediate Influence: Coheed & Cambria - [The Crowing] www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXCsR6tBE-Q

3) Goal: the pAper chAse - [Ready, Willing, Cain And Able] www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_h0xIO4Wnk

4) Recent Past: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - [Death Is Not The End] www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJwE86Prckw

5) Further Past: Attrition - [Waste Not, Want...More] www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa3BJrt112Q

6) Near Future: Curly Castro - [Homeless Swordsman (prod by Disco Vietnam)] http://wreckingcrew.bandcamp.com/track/homeless-swordsman-prod-by-disco-vietnam

7) Me As Others See Me: Aesop Rock - [Coma] www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFJAVaOgYG8 http://genius.com/Aesop-rock-coma-lyrics

8) Further Future: Björk - [All Is Full of Love] www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xWWsi3RwNI

9) Emotional/Mental State: The Parlour Trick - Laudanum http://theparlourtrick.bandcamp.com/track/laudanum

10) Ultimate Outcome: Warren Zevon - [The Overdraft] www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e-EtXCQLQU

Overall Clarification: Tori Amos - [Way Down] www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujqXYh9IyKI
wolven7: (Me)
"But be not broken, o heart…"

…Did you know that Valentine's Day has a history of association with Werewolves? I bet that you did.

Did you know that sometimes I write poetry? I mean, I'm not "a poet," per se, because I don't write poetry all the time, and practice form, and edit and Do The Work of poetry… But sometimes a poem hits me, and I write it down. Anyway, maybe you knew that and maybe you didn't. Now you do.

This time of year hits a lot of people I care about kind of hard, so this poem/invocation/reminder is for them. It's for ALL of us, yeah, but especially them.

Picture's a sigil I crafted a year and a day ago. No i don't remember what it was supped to be for.

Have a good day.
wolven7: (The Very Devil)
Recently, on Tumblr and Twitter, I've had the opportunity fofr some really good conversations about Machine Intelligence, Religion, Society, and other topics.

For instance, there was this conversation via Twitter: https://www.patreon.com/creation?hid=1587926

And these thoughts on which I posted to the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/creation?hid=1659139

And then someone asked me this question about Phenomenology: http://wolvensnothere.tumblr.com/post/110558613426/i-think-i-read-on-your-tumblr-recently-that-there

And this one about John Searle and AI: http://wolvensnothere.tumblr.com/post/110736597146/what-do-you-think-of-john-searles-objections-to

So that's nice.

How are you?
wolven7: (Default)
Loreena McKennitt - [Ce He Mise le Ulaingt?/The Two Trees]

wolven7: (Me)
My winamp just no shit shuffled from Rasputina's "Doomsday Averted" to Mephiskapheles' "Doomsday".

Let's see what it does next.

Apparently Die Antwoord's "Baby's On Fire," which starts with the words:

"Boom, boom boom.
It's show time, motherfucker, it's on
Apocalypse now, I'm dropping this bomb…"

…Should I be concerned?

DethKlok - [Mudertrain a Comin' (Demo)]--- I think I should be…
wolven7: (Dream House)
1) Me As I See Myself: Current 93 - [All the World Makes Great Blood]

"…Only once did GoodGod cry black
And then all the clockmovements start
To crick crack crick
By the hairs on my head
By the stare in my eyes
By the pain in my heart
I shall whisper through signs:
All this world makes great blood
All the world makes great blood
All the world makes great blood
All this world makes great blood…"

2) Immediate Influence: Tom Waits - [On the Road (Jack Kerouac) (w/ Primus)]

"…Rode to Opelousas, rode to Wounded Knee
Rode to Ogallala, home I'll never be
Rode to Oklahoma, rode to El Cajon
Rode to old Tehatchapi, rode to San Antone

Home I'll never be
Home I'll never be
Home I'll never be…"

3) Goal: Nine Inch Nails - 6 Ghosts I

4) Recent Past: Ilhan Ersahin - Thomas O'Malley

5) Further Past: Einstürzende Neubauten - Musentango (Live)

"…erst tanzte ich mit mnemosyne
die, glaub' ich, eine echte muse war
dazwischen trank ich mischgetränke
die hiessen, glaub' ich, amnesia
irgendwann fing ich an zu singen
und ich sang bis die putzkolonne kam…"

I only danced with mnemosyne
which, I believe, a true muse was
between I drank mixed drinks
which were called, I believe, amnesia
eventually I began to sing
and I sang until the plaster column was…"

6) Near Future: The Breeders - Sinister Foxx

"…Jumped tank
And leavin'
Broth of thieves
Has anyone seen the iguana
Has anyone seen the iguana

No one broke for me
I just got life
I'm in cedars
Every single night…"

7) Me As Others See Me: Coil - [Cardinal Points]

8) Further Future: Ego Likeness - [Song For Samael]

Meet me at the Red Sea
Meet me at the Red Sea
There are too many thieves in the kingdom.
I will give you the key.
Will you take care of this for me?…"

9) Emotional/Mental State: Apeboy - [Enya vs Prodigy (Lenlow Edit)]

…just go look at the lyrics for these two songs.

10) Ultimate Outcome: Kronos Quartet - Music for Piano

Clarification: Dionysos - épilogue
"…I hang my head like a snowflake-man in a burning sun
Because I'm my own ghost I'm really dead, this time
I'm dead like the corpse in their mother fucking graves

How romantic it could be to climb the sky in a hamac made of clouds
A hamac made of clouds my little one…"

Currently Playing: Choronzon - Zero Divided By Infinity
Placebo - [Centrefolds]
Gary Numan - Absolution [Extended]
Auf der Maur - [Skin Receiver] (A song which I still firmly believe works best when thought of as being about the Lwa.)
wolven7: (The Very Devil)
So, first and foremost: I can't get to Albuquerque for the Southwest Popular/American Culture Association conference. Which sucks. I'm still going to write the paper, and do the work, because it's connected to the larger arc of my professional life. But still. Sad.

BUT! I got a presentation accepted for The Work of Cognition and Neuroethics in Science Fiction conference, March 20–21, 2015 at the Insight Institute of Neurosurgery and Neuroscience (IINN) in Flint, MI. And THAT one, I can DRIVE to. i'll still need to raise money for the accommodations

The presentation--a reconfiguration of one of my (previously rejected) Ultimate Star Trek and Philosophy abstracts--looks like this:

"The Quality of Life: The Implications of Augmented Personhood and Machine Intelligence in Science Fiction"

ABSTRACT: This presentation will focus on a view of humanity’s contemporary fictional relationships with cybernetically augmented humans and machine intelligences, from Icarus to the various incarnations of Star Trek to Terminator and Person of Interest, and more. We will ask whether it is legitimate to judge the level of progressiveness of these worlds through their treatment of these questions, and, if so, what is that level? We will consider the possibility that the writers of these tales intended the observed interactions with many of these characters to represent humanity’s technophobia as a whole, with human perspectives at the end of their stories being that of hopeful openness and willingness to accept. However, this does not leave the manner in which they reach that acceptance—that is, the factors on which that acceptance is conditioned—outside of the realm of critique. As considerations of both biotechnological augmentation and artificial intelligence have advanced, Science Fiction has not always been a paragon of progressiveness in the ultimate outcome of those considerations. For instance, while Picard and Haftel eventually come to see Lal as Data's legitimate offspring, in the eponymous Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, it is only through their ability to map Data's actions and desires onto a human spectrum—and Data's desire to have that map be as faithful as possible to its territory—that they come to that acceptance. The reason for this is the one most common throughout science fiction: It is assumed at the outset that any sufficiently non-human consciousness will try remove humanity’s natural right to self-determination and freewill. But from sailing ships to star ships, the human animal has always sought a far horizon, and so it bears asking, how does science fiction regard that primary mode of our exploration, that first vessel—ourselves? For many, science fiction has been formative to the ways in which we see the world and understand the possibilities for our future, which is why it is strange to look back at many shows, films, and books and to find a decided lack of nuance or attempted understanding. Instead, we are presented with the presupposition that fear and distrust of a hyper-intelligent cyborg or machine consciousness is warranted. Thus, while the spectre of Pinocchio and the Ship of Theseus—that age-old question of “how much of myself can I replace before I am not myself”— both hang over the whole of the Science Fiction Canon, it must be remembered that our ships are just our limbs extended to the sea and the stars.

So Now it's just a matter of getting the money for the hotel and conference registration.

I've got a thing coming up in mid-April, as well, but I'm not sure I can talk about that, yet. I can say that it's ALSO somewhere I can drive, and would probably have crash space. So, there, gas money's the only real issue.

Time to start saving. So much saving >_
wolven7: (Dream House)
No question: Dionysos - whatever the weather: www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2gaLrJgWd0

"…Whatever the weather I got you under my skin…"

1) Me As I See Myself: Gnarls Barkley - [A Little Better]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6YAUPuTpAk

"…And there ain't no holdin me
I've got a heart made of gold in me
Hah, can you believe this is where I've been?
And when adversity comes again
I'll deal with it then…"

2) Immediate Influence: Puscifer - Oceans: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj4n-aPu5Co

"…Weary traveler, calloused and sore
Time and gravity followed you here
Rest, my brother, and tell me
All about the ocean…"

3) Goal: Psychostick - Fake My Own Death And Go Platinum: www.youtube.com/watch?v=62zkwVif7PQ

"…What if I could live
if they all would think I'm dead
oh just what if I could have my
cake and eat it too…"

(harsh, winamp)

4) Recent Past: A Tribe Called Quest - Pad and Pen: www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3q4rIOirj0

"…One love, one life, and one destiny
It seems that the devil keeps testin me
Got the illest part of the recipe
Yo tell your homegirl to stop stressin me (stop it)
Undressin me is the part you really like
Brothers hold the cracks now they holdin mics
The cusses you get, They feelin steady rights
Marauders, we did that shit at Mid-night, a-ah-aight-aight…"

5) Further Past: AFI - [Girl's Not Grey]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Yzu-4kJg6g

"…What follows will swallow whole
What follows will swallow whole"

(Now I'm really anticipating the next pull. No peaking, though. Them's the rules…)
6) Near Future: The Clash - [Koka Kola]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8zqDVaNg6w

"…I get my advice from the advertising world
Treat me nice says the party girl
Koke adds life where there isn't any
So freeze, man, freeze…"

(Well that's terrifying.)

7) Me As Others See Me: Motion - [Desafinado]: http://www.beatport.com/track/desafinado-original-mix/4085324

Desafinado means "Off Key" or "Out of Tune," in Portuguese.

8) Further Future: Rajna - [Trehya Man]: http://rajna.bandcamp.com/track/trehya-man

9) Emotional/Mental State: Grinderman - Bellringer Blues: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1km7-SEFWP4

"…Next thing you know I took a look
Gabe was trying to sell me a book
But i got no dough
He said check it out it’s going cheap
Check it out it’s going cheap
Ok I’ll give it a go
I read that book every page
And then I put it away
Said I don’t think so

It makes slaves of all of womenkind
And corpses of the men, and I
I just don’t know
And we care a little bit
We get scared a little bit
Oа those two cold dead eyes
That stare a little a bit
And we cry a little bit
And we get by a little bit
Let your tears
All come falling down…"'

(Too real…)

10) Ultimate Outcome: Rasputina - Afternoon of the Fawn: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oVD-dZvZMI

"…If you accept my true intention
To find a house for all of us
My mind's eye can see a cottage of dimension
That defies its adorable size, and the garden is lush

Let's get put out to pasture
Let's go underground
Let's sit up in the thatched roof rafters
Where we can listen to the sound

Of anything that babbles
Like a brook, a stream, or a little child
I wanna live then in a hollow glen
Where the buttercup roams wild…"

(Hm. Houses of Blue)

Clarification: SITD - [The Final Curtain]:

Leben wir in schönen Erinnerungen
Und glauben wir an eine goldene Zukunft
Um das hier und jetzt
Nicht wahrnehmen zu müssen?
Mit Händen voller Hoffnung
Stehen wir am Abgrund zur Ewigkeit..

[Are we living in beautiful memories
And we believe in a golden future
To the here and now
Not having to perceive?
With hands full of hope
Are we on the brink of eternity…]

(Well that clarification was certainly ambiguous…)

Now Playing: Joe Boyd Vigil - [Broken Promise]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GBawbcjBsc
Björk - [You've Been Flirting Again]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPWfpgwU5c4
wolven7: (The Very Devil)
1) You as you see yourself: Hindu Love Gods - [Junko Partner] www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EbpvF23cDE

"…Down the road, down the road come
My junko pardner
He was loaded as he could be
He was knocked down, knocked down loaded
And he sang this song to me…"

2) Direct influence: Ritualz - Third Eye Sixth Sense http://ritualz.bandcamp.com/track/third-eye-sixth-sense
3) Your Goal: Coil - [All This Has Always To Be Filmed] www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9kZFiAIqOw
4) Recent Past: Choronzon - [Forewarning] http://digital.panicmachine.com/track/forewarning
5) Further Past: Black Tape for a Blue Girl - [Glow] http://www.last.fm/music/Black+Tape+for+a+Blue+Girl/_/Glow
6) Near Future: Die Antwoord - [Wat Pomp (Feat. Jack Parow)] www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0PW1iJS7kU

7) You As Others See You: Black Flag - [Spray Paint] www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMLhAuH93bs

"…I don't want
To see the plan succeed
There won't be room
For people like me
My life is their disease
It feels good
And I'm gonna go wild
Spray paint the walls…"

8) Further Future: Tom Waits - [Spare Parts I (A Nocturnal Emission)] www.youtube.com/watch?v=cf4R9mGWX78

"…And the sky turned the color of Pepto-Bismol
And my old sport coat full of promissory notes
And the hawk had his whole family out there in the wind
He got a message for you to beware
Kicking your ass in, in a cold blooded fashion
He'll be dishing out more than a good man can bear
Well let's take it to Bakersfield, get a little apartment somewhere…"

9) Emotional/Mental State: The Birthday Massacre - [Lovers End] www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h2Tfhs4-eU
10) Ultimate Outcome: Oneiroid Psychosis - [Discharge] http://www.last.fm/music/Oneiroid+Psychosis/_/Discharge

Clarification: David Bowie - [The Last Thing You Should Do]: www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0wutxYSHM8

"What have you been doing to yourself?
What have you been doing to yourself?
What have you been doing to yourself?
It's the last thing you should do, ooh ooh ooh ooh

Nobody laughs any more
Nobody laughs any more
Nobody laughs any more
It's the worst thing you can do, ooh ooh ooh ooh

Save the last dance with me
Catch the last bus with me
Give the last kiss to me
It's the safest thing to do, ooh ooh ooh ooh

Yea yea yea
Yea yea yea
Yea yea yea"
wolven7: (Default)
Sunday's are days for me to reset and rest, and they often comprise as much work as they do rest. They're Cusp Days. Threshold days. They're a unique perspective, as they're some of the only time I'm truly and completely alone, during the week.

Me As I See Myself: Jorane - Pour Ton Sourire

"Pour ton sourire, j'veux donner toutes mes nuits
Mes jours et tous mes rêves
Pour tes yeux et pour tes lèvres
Pour ton sourire"

Direct Influence: DeathBoy - [Capital Way You Make Me Feel (NIN vs Jacko vs DeathBoy)]

"Don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person
You haven't had enough to know what its like
You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right... alright"

"The way you make me feel
(The way you make me feel)
You really turn me on
(You really turn me on)
You knock me off of my feet
(You knock me off of my feet)
My lonely days are gone
(My lonely days are gone)"

Goal: Tom Waits - [Down There by the Train]

"…well I've never asked forgiveness and
I've never said a prayer
I've never given of myself
I've never truly cared
I've hurt the ones who loved me
I'm still raising cain
I've taken the low road and
if you've done the same

meet me down there by the train
down there by the train…"

Recent Past: A New Found Glory - [Never Ending Story]

"Rhymes that keep their secrets
Will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon a rainbow
Is the answer to a never ending story"

Further Past: Voltaire - [The Night]

"…It just seems very strange to me
That her quiet lonely streets
And draped in all her mystery
Could be so sweet and comforting

'Cause the night, she calls me…"

Near Future: Lovesliescrushing - [Bloweyelashwish]

Me As Others See Me: Radiohead - [Life in a Glasshouse]

"…Once again, we are hungry for a lynching
That's a strange mistake to make
You should turn the other cheek
Living in a glass house

Well of course I'd like to sit around and chat
Well of course I'd like to stay and chew the fat
Well of course I'd like to sit around and chat
But someone's listening in…"

More Distant Future: Throwing Muses - Firepile

"…Think of all the junk
I could lay my hands on
Purify my heart

That firepile's your home…"

Emotional/Mental State: Warren Zevon - [Musings On Mortality, Song Noir And The King Of Rock N' Roll]

Ultimate Outcome: Tori Amos - [Toast]

"…On your right standing is
Mr. Bojangles
With a toast he's telling me it's time
To let you go
Let you go

I thought I'd see you again
You said you might do
Maybe in a carving
In a cathedral
Somewhere in Barcelona…"

Clarification: Snake River Conspiracy - [Casualty]

"I'm a casualty of you
Just a casualty of you
Opportunity for me to prove again how easily you just
Want you to stay with me
More than would die to be, your casualty"

Currently Playing: Katzenjammer Kabarett - [Lies Suck Not] and Tom Waits - [Black Box Theme].

So there are those. Interesting pulls. Lots to consider.

Lovesliescrushing - [Golden-Handed]---Back later.

Screeching Weasel - [Dirty Needles] followed by Miles Davis - [Boplicity]
The Impossible Girl - Stellar Alchemist

Forest Whitaker - Samurai Code Quote ("It Is Bad When One Thing Becomes Two…")

Flogging Molly - [The Ol' Beggars Bush]

Rasputina - [Doomsday Averted]---Weeks and weeks of music.
wolven7: (Default)
It's a good thing I randomly decided to go on a phone picture deleting spree or I wouldn't have seen the pic from last month to remind me that I have a followup appointment with the ortho specialist tomorrow at 1030.


wolven7: (Dream House)
Doing it in the style of a tarot Celtic Cross. Listening to each song all the way through, before moving on. Why am I tell you this, you know how this works.

Me As I See Myself: Billy Idol - [Don't Need a Gun (Single Edit)]

"Yeah to be someone
don't need a gun"

Direct Influence: Collide - [Like You Want to Believe]

"all that you take and all that you steal
all that you mask and all you reveal"

Goal: The Smiths - [Rubber Ring]

"And when you're dancing and laughing
And finally living
Hear my voice in your head
And think of me kindly…

"'You are sleeping
You do not want to believe
You are sleeping'"

Recent Past: Covenant - [Wall of Sound]
"Overcome the fear to drop the last defence
Speak forbidden words reach out beyond ourselves"

Further Past: Mephiskapheles - Bad John

Near Future: Einstürzende Neubauten - The Interimlovers

"es gibt sie gestern nicht mehr | they are not there yesterday
und morgen noch nicht | and tomorrow not yet"

Me As Others See Me: Danger Doom - [No Names (Black Debbie)]

"On the phone, he sounded like a real paid ("whoa whoa whoa")
Then we met in person, he was three shades blacker
That's why he saved money over ball and chain dames
We all the same, no callin names

I'm as smart as him!

What? I got Ph.D's in four scientific disciplines


Why do you think they call me "Dr. Quinn?"

Um, I just thought that was a nickname. You know, like "Dr. Dre." East-siiiiiiiide!

Further Future: Aural Vampire - Border Of The Dead

<"in the valley of the dead cars
at the mouth of a flooded mine
i will embrace you hard
and we'll wait for the sun to shine
in the valley of the dead cars
the valley of the dead cars">

Mental/Emotional State: XTC - Respectable Street

"Heard the neighbor slam his car door
Don't he realize this is respectable street
What d'you think he bought that car for
'Cos he realize this is respectable street

He realize this is respectable street
He realize this is respectable street
He realize this is respectable street"

Ultimate Outcome: AiBoFoRcEn - [The Dying Rose]

"My leaves sleep at my feet
See my heart how it bleeds
My petals become dry
It's that thing just inside..."

Well none of that is at all encouraging.

Clarification: Amber Asylum - Aurora

Change of Direction: The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets - [Hookworm (Live)]

"Your wings are cold with travel
Your tools are on the way
My mind will soon be leaving here
Just leave my body where you may
Brought to the rim of knowledge
Drilled deep into my skull
The buzzing eats away my mind"

Now Playing: Wolf Eyes - [Rationed Rot]

So if anyone wants to toss me a spread, I'd be much obliged.
wolven7: (Dream House)
It occurs to me that I don't spend nearly enough time telling the people in my life how much I appreciate them. So if we've ever talked and you've made me think more clearly or laugh or smile, or just had a kind word on a bad day, or any day at all: Thank you.
wolven7: (Emotion-Intensified)
Utah proves that free homes strengthen the economy.

Multiple countries around the world prove that free education strengthens the economy.

Many programs show that free food increases people's hope and removes one layer of subsistence worry, making them more able to do the work they want to be doing.

Programmable & semi-autonomous machines are making human labor nonessential in many fields.

Access to information is a human right.

Oh yeah & the maintenance of "the world economy" is just collective self-delusion anyway.

At some point we're going to have to realise that we CAN give ourselves anything we need to all survive & thrive. Like, we have that ability. We're simply choosing not to.
wolven7: (The Very Devil)

Because I'm still trying to figure out the money to get to Albuquerque, NM in the middle of next month, this is one of those posts where I tell you that I am REALLY fucking good at Research, Editing, Conceptual Consulting, Writing, event planning, & thinking.

While I specialise in philosophy, ritual theory, magical and occult studies, the implications of human augmentation and machine consciousness, and epistemology in re: social constructions of reality, if you pay me money I will do these things for YOUR projects.

That is all.

wolven7: (Dream House)
Over on Tumblr, somebody asked me, "any spells for combating suicidal thoughts?"

This was my reply:

First and foremost, please please PLEASE, if you are feeling like you need immediate help, get IMMEDIATE help: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ http://eyeamdivine.tumblr.com/post/106704095763/us-international-suicide-prevention-lifelines

Barring that, please talk to someone, talk to anyone, and there are people there who will and want to listen. Please believe me.

You’ll need Wormwood and Chamomile and Melatonin. If any of these causes you interaction problems, you leave it out, but you keep the others in. If none of them are okay for you, any “Sleepy Tea” (catnip, jasmine, etc) will do in a pinch.

You’ll need to find the memory of the voice, the words, the presence of someone you trust, the sound or sight or feeling of them telling you the truth of yourself: That you deserve to live, that you deserve to experience and become more, that you’re stronger than you ever thought possible.

You’ll need a sheet of paper and the nearest pen you have to hand. Favourite, most comfortable, happened to be there lying on the ground, barely working sticking out of the trash, whatever.

If pen and paper aren’t your thing, then any portable means of freestyle mark-making will do. P&P are just our shorthand, here.

If you’re a listener, you’ll need your favourite piece of instrumental music. No lyrics. You’re going to supply the words.

If you’re not a listener, then hold the memory of a perfect moment in a day. Not people or situations, just a moment. The feeling or smell or sight or sound or taste at a singular point in time when you knew, Knew, that all was well.

You’ll need an empty, quiet room.

Set water to boil, in a kettle if possible, and place the wormwood and chamomile together in a tea ball, infuser, or even just a conical strainer or piece of cheesecloth. Anything that’ll allow you to steep the herbs without having to eat them. If you don’t mind a little crunch in your beverage, then put the herbs in the cup and don’t worry about it.

Pour the boiling water over, through, or into the herbs, and let them steep. Two or three minutes should do the trick. While it steeps, take stock of your remaining supplies, again:

  • Melatonin, if it’s okay for you

  • The memory of true words from a trusted source.

  • A piece of paper

  • Any pen

  • Your favourite instrumental piece, or the memory of a perfect moment

  • An empty room

Set the music to play, hold the perfect moment in your mind, and sit in the middle of the empty room (or as close to the middle as you can get, depending), keeping the paper and the pen near to hand. Hold the words of that trusted source in your mind and begin to write, or draw, or scribble.

Start with the words you remember. The words about how strong you are, how brave you are, how much you’ve survived, and all that you deserve to see and experience. They don’t need to be the exact words, they don’t need to be spelled correctly or even look like “words,” per se. Make the marks you make as you think of those true words.

Drink the tea and take the melatonin.

Continue to hold that memory, listen to the music, and recall those words and make those marks—new marks, as well: pictures, shapes, representations of anything, everything you feel connected to— and as you start to feel the tired, make your way toward your bed, or the couch, or the most comfortable place you can find, and lie down there. Keep your mark-makers close to hand, though.

As you drift off, hold the marks the pictures the words and memories in your mind, switching rapidly between all of them, using the feeling of all of them to drive out all other thoughts, images, recollections, and one of these things will be the last thing you think about before you sleep.

When you dream, try to follow every path, investigate every clue, look in every window, and open every door you find. Write down everything anyone says to you (you brought your mark-makes with you, remember? They’re right next to you), and bring it back with you. Nothing may be what it initially seems to mean, but everything is important. hold on to as much of it as you can, but don’t worry about what you might have to let go.

When you wake, write down as much of what you remember in the same place as all the other marks you’ve made. Study them. Follow their leads and let them point you away from the things that would deny you everything you deserve to experience and see to rob you of accomplishments which are yours by right and dint of the strength and effort and conviction you’ve shown in getting so far and doing so well.

And know that you have journeyed far and learned deep truths. Know that you have crafted your mark on the world with weight and truth and intention behind it, with memories of everything you’ve overcome. Know that you are here, breathing, where so many others aren’t and that’s okay. It’s not failure or triumph or cowardice. It’s you, Here, and that’s okay.

Those marks are your sigils, your glyphs, your words and symbols of power. You don’t need to cling to them, to see them, or have their physical representation near you, every day, because the secret truth about the words, the runes, about spells? Well when you learn to spell, those marks are yours, forever. They’re always in your mind, and even when things get jumbled, eevn wehn tihgns gte msseed pu, we can still understand each other, still decypher each other, still make ourselves known and understood with the marks we make.

This is a spell to help you make your own spells. To remember that every day you are here is a day when you can learn another of the universe’s secrets from the song of a bird or the pattern of a spray of branches or from your own memories and heart.

Make your own spells. Make as many of them as you can. Share them with all of us for as long as you possibly can. This one’s just to get you started.
wolven7: (Me)
Hey Gregorian Calendar-using world! If i didn't say, sign, hug, call, or text this to you, today: happy new year!

Today was a free day. I hope you did whatever you needed to to get your heart and your mind right. Got some brunch, went for a walk, vegged out with some Chinese food and watched Netflix. Recorded audio love letters to yourself and scheduled them to send at random times throughout the year. Whatever. Take it.

I did some of those things, and others: http://www.patreon.com/creation?hid=1448754&rf=145784

Spent NYE and the Flip at [Unknown site tag]'s house. Good gig.

Goodbye 2014. You barely tried at all, but the few things you DID get right, you got really right. Go away now. Into the fire with you.

Happy New Year 2015. This is what happens to the years that fail us. The ones that succeed, as well, but it's all in the perspective through the flames, right?

Anyway: Be Ye Warned.
Because tomorrow we've got work to do.

Good night.
wolven7: (Emotion-Intensified)
Finding general travel grants for independent scholars is nowhere near as easy as it should be. Seriously: Foundations & fellowship funds specifically for adjuncts and independent scholars, which take into account their likely financial realities? These need to be a thing.

I need conference travel funding grants for an independent scholar/adjunct instructor, available on a two month timescale and able to be applied to conference registration, airfare, AND hotel fees. Short term rather than long term, because the conference in question is in FEBRUARY.

I have [livejournal.com profile] razelore​ working with someone who knows grants attacking this, as my google-fu has failed me in this search. That or there is like, NOTHING out there.

And yes I've contacted their travel and accommodations liaison. No they don't have or know of anything.

There needs needs NEEDS to be a more cohesive support community for independent scholars and adjuncts. Something so JUST shy of unions that they can't deny them, but close enough to eventually make that change.

But that's a machination for the future…
wolven7: (Default)
My mom bought me a new car battery and cash and my dad gave me a new charging block for my laptop, and an easy fix for the laptop hinges. I now have a functional laptop and car again. Woohoo!
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